Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Coach Maxwell Is Displeased With Your Execution...And An Announcement (UPDATE)

Reader Ryan sends us this video of Coach Eric Maxwell of Southern High School in New Jersey throwing a volleyball at one of his own (female) players. Charming fellow. And now, an announcement…

For the past few months, our readers have sent in stories about the shittiest coaches they've ever had. Well, now is the time to expand these stories to cover a greater segment of assholedom.


Yes, people. We're making a little change here on Mondays. I'd like this post to now encompass stories about virtually every authoritarian figure you've ever had in your life: coaches, teachers, and, above all else, bosses. Starting next Monday, ASSHOLE COACH DIGEST will become ASSHOLE BOSS DIGEST.

I have had the good fortune in life to spend the majority of career working for relatively kind and decent people. Some of them I've hated, but none have been outright monsters (except Daulerio). But I know that isn't the case for many people out there. I know some of you spend your work days under the thumb of a raging, Eric Maxwell-style asshole, the kind of asshole who fosters such hatred in your soul that you take it with you wherever you go. You can't even watch a movie or go out on the town without pausing to think about how much you fucking hate your boss, and dreaming of all the ways you'll finally tell him off once you get another offer from somewhere else two decades from now.

But why keep all that hate inside you? Why not let it out online for all to bear witness? You'll feel much better, I assure you. So go ahead and start sending me your stories. Email me here. The best ones will be featured here, as usual, every Monday. For now, reader Clue Heywood alerts us to coach Mike Ellsworth of Chandler, Arizona, who sent out flyers labeling four of his players as CHANDLER QUITTERS:

The varsity boys basketball coach at Chandler High School has been suspended after allegedly distributing a flier with the words "Chandler Quitters" and listing the names of four players who recently quit the team.

A student who is a friend of one of the players who quit the team snapped a photo on his cell phone of the flier after seeing it in the boys' locker room. "Chandler's Quitters," it began and then listed the names of four players. "Don't Be One of Them."

Adrienne Ellsworth, a Chandler High teacher and Mike Ellsworth's wife, declined to discuss the incident.

"The district is handling things very poorly," she said, "and that's all I'll say."


A fitting way to send out our asshole coaches. What a fucking dick.

UPDATE: Maxwell has publicly apologized for the incident and has stated he never intended to hit his own player with the ball, which he says he threw at the wall out of frustration.

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