Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Coconut Water Not All That Good For You, Also Lousy And Gross

Many people like to drink coconut water. Some like to drink it because they believe it contains miraculous health-chemicals. Others like to drink it because they believe it tastes good. Both of these groups are incorrect.

As Michael Moss explains in a very cool presentation over at the New York Times, the purported health benefits of coconut water are mostly exaggerated and/or unproven—in fact, after a 2011 class-action lawsuit, one of the most popular brands of coconut water isn't even allowed to claim that the stuff hydrates you better than Gatorade, which doesn't even hydrate you as well as friggin' tap water.


As for the latter group, let it be known that coconut water tastes bad and is gross, unless you are into regular-ass water with some plain white sugar dissolved in it, in which case you are probably a cockroach. If you are stranded on a desert island with a lone coconut-producing tree, that is a scenario in which it is cool for you to be all, "Hey, yeah! This coconut water is excellent!" In all other scenarios, liking coconut water is a bad opinion.

Desert Island Beverages, Ranked:

1. Coconut water

1a. Armpit sweat

2. Being hit by a car

3. Ocean water

Don't drink coconut water. Thank you.


Image by Sam Woolley

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