Cole Hamels Should Really Not Let His Wife Speak In Public

The Philadelphia Phillies' ace and his wife, former "Survivor" temptress, Heidi Strobel, have decided to use their good fortune and popularity to add the latest Hollywood accessory to their young family: AIDS orphans.

Of course this is a nice thing to do, and I give the Hamels' all the credit in the world for their heartfelt generosity and their desire to help children in need. But...Heidi would probably be better served keeping her rationale behind this life-altering decision to herself unless she wants to blow the whole deal.

Here's what Mrs. Hamels told SI during an interview for the expansive cover story on Cole:

We're in the process of adopting an AIDS orphan from Ethiopia. Maybe two. I'm so pumped. I'd adopt six if I could. When I was five years old-I grew up in a very rural town in Missouri, and I had never even seen a black person-they asked us to draw a picture of ourselves in the future, and I drew myself holding hands with a line of tiny black stick figures. I've always wanted this."

I believe "Tiny Black Stick Figure Family Appreciation Night" at Citizens Bank Park is actually something the Phillies' PR team is trying to pull together for the 2009 season. Should be a whale of a time.

Hamels' One-Ups Utley Plans To Adopt AIDS Orphan From Africa [The 700 Level] Cole Hamels: Officially A Weird Rich Person [Philebrity]