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College Football Previews: #9 Clemson

Andrew Webster brings you the Clemson Tigers preview today. Andrew writes the sports blog, The Church of Keith Jackson. One week from today, the games will be going, but, until then, dive into #9 Clemson. Why, you ask, is a young and strapping (just ask my mom) Canadian man writing a Clemson Tigers football preview? Because I'm better than you, that's why. So shall we get down to business, I think we shall? The Clemson Tigers have a lot of pressure on them this year, they play in South Carolina, a state where going 1-3 against ranked opponents last season and not winning a bowl game since 2006 just don't fly.


(Seriously look at their flag, are they muslim? I thought they still had the confederate thing going on.) Regardless, the purple and orange have re-up'd their head coach Tommy Bowden for another 4 years but if Clemson doesn't live up to at least SOME of their lofty expectations this year Bowden may be looking for work elsewhere. So as the AP preseason poll have the Tigers ranked 9th lets take a look at what's good and what's bad down in Pickens County. GOOD: -Cullen Harper: a 6'4 220 lb beer swillin' (only a guess), football throwin' machine. Harper was money last year, throwing 27 touchdowns to only 6 interceptions. As Harper goes through his senior season he should complete his maturation process and maybe, possibly, conceivably could become a candidate for the Heisman if not a 1st round draft pick in next year's NFL draft, maybe. He would have to perform better against ranked opponents (Harper threw 3 of his 6 INTs against ranked opponents in 07) but when you face facts Harper is the best quarterback in the ACC, fo sho. -Senior James Davis and Junior CJ Spiller running the ball: Sharing the rock has been a staple of good college football teams in the past, Ronnie Brown and Cadillac Williams come to mind. Put quite simply, Davis and Spiller are expected to tear shit up this year. It would not be a surprise to see Spiller and Davis each reach 1000 yards on the ground. Last year they came close with Davis putting up 1064 yards and Spiller coming close with 768 yards. Not only that but 20 pounds separates this tandem so we can't call them "Thunder and Lightning", thank god because I'm so sick of that nickname for running back duos, I much prefer "Moose and Squirrel" and hope to enter it to the football lexicon soon. BAD: The law: The Clemson Tigers, like many other ACC football teams, are having a pickle of a time trying to keep their players out of the clink. Case in point; DeAndre McDaniel may face time for assault and battery charges laid against him by a female Clemson student, I heard something about a pillow case over the head but these are just rumors people. McDaniels did recently agree to do PTI, not Tony and Wilbon but what's called a "pre-trial intervention". According to the Charleston Post and Courier the PTI would involve getting McDaniel "…to deal with his frustration without pounding on someone." Oh irony, is there anything you cannot make hilarious? -The offensive line: Bottom line is this; Tommy Bowden may start up to 3 freshmen on the O-line, yikes. The ACC is renowned for pumping out some of the best defensive linemen in the country and having these young'ns try and stop the front line of Miami, Florida State or Virginia Tech could get ugly. Lets move to audio-visual stimulation. Imagine the cheerleader is Cullen Harper, the piece of paper is the Clemson O-line and the players are, well, players. It may look something like this:

I never get sick of that. -Death Valley: We, as college football fans, cannot allow multiple stadiums to have the same nicknames. LSU and Clemson need to play each other for the right to call their stadium Death Valley, this must happen. UGLY:- Wendy's: I was told I would get a paragraph to bash someone or something or some such. So I choose Wendy's. I know their square burgers are the envy of the fast food world but Wendy is a fickle bitch. Why is it that everytime Ms. Wendy comes out with a new and delicious sandwich she only takes it away from those who love it after a month? Most recently many of my burger eating chums lamented the loss of the Spicy Baconator. To me, a Wendy's vet, it was nothing new. Oh, I remember the days of the Wild Mountain Chicken Sandwich and how she snatched that away from our hands. Wendy stop playing with our grease covered hearts!



He's just checking if he remembered to wipe…mmm the smell of failure

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