Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Commissioner For A Day: It's Time For A Four-Point Shot In The NBA

It is not a good practice, just as a general rule, to steal Big Ideas from widely maligned and mostly forgotten MTV stunt-programming. But people that play by the general rules or adhere to best practices or “have actual ideas of their own” seldom make history, and I was not going to spend my one hypothetical day as NBA Commissioner aiming low. I would instead be firing away at the 25-foot basket that MTV’s justly forgotten Rock N’ Jock celebrity basketball game instituted. Metaphorically, anyway. I didn’t like the idea of the 25-point shot on the 25-foot basket. It seems stilted and stupid. I went for another, much more reasonable idiotic concept suggested by those Rock N’ Jock games. I pulled up and shot my shot on the idea of adding a four-point shot to the NBA game.

Is this a good idea? Certainly not, as evidenced by the fact that people smarter than me have never seriously entertained such a thing—there are rumors about it every now and then, all of which the NBA has vigorously denied—but then I am not in the good idea business. Judge Dan McQuade invited me onto Commissioner For A Day to hear out the ideas that I wanted to see come to pass, not the ones that I necessarily thought were “good” or “feasible” or “honestly advisable if given significant thought.” And I have a lot of ideas that fit that description, as it happens.

And so it was that I made the case for the four-point shot. I will not spoil the video by telling you here whether my idea passed muster or not. I will say that the video ably illustrates both my dazzling natural standing ability and widely praised capacity for drawing straight lines, and that there is a brief cameo from Dean Cain in some archival footage. I will also add, at the risk of spoiling things further, that if Antoine Walker were considering a return to the league, he would do well to schedule it during the one glorious and stupid and blessedly brief day that I was allowed to be in charge of everything. Tomorrow, when I am no longer NBA commissioner and have to go back to my blogs, the NBA will be better off. Today, though, we’re pulling up from deep.

David Roth is an editor at Deadspin.

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