The Dallas Stars are currently eighth in the NHL’s Western Conference, and are narrowly holding onto the second Wild Card spot. But they’re just 4–8 over their last 12 games, and stars Jamie Benn and Tyler Seguin are ranked 57th and 67th in the league in scoring, respectively. Apparently, disappointment with those two players has reached the Burn It All Down stage for team CEO Jim Lites:
“They are fucking horse-shit, I don’t know how else to put it,” Lites said. “The team was ok. But Seguin and Benn were terrible.”
That’s from Sean Shapiro of The Athletic, and it is one of many extremely spicy quotes delivered by Lites about Benn, the team’s captain, and Seguin, who is signed through the 2026–27 season. The article has rants like this one, about the vaguely encouraging stat that says Seguin hits more posts and crossbars than any other player in the NHL:
“He’s hitting posts, ‘wah-wah.’ That’s what I say about hitting posts,” Lites said. “Get a little bit closer to the action, actually go to the spot where you score goals. He doesn’t do that, he never does that anymore. He used to be a pest to play against, people hated playing against Tyler Seguin, they don’t anymore.”
“These guys have been great players, but we are 40 games into this season and they aren’t getting it done,” Lites added. “We are going to sleepwalk to another 14th place from the bottom and miss the playoffs.”
Lites apparently isn’t alone in thinking Seguin and Benn are just the lowest of low-down piles of mouldering carrion ever to stink up a patch of earth. He says he gets angry “WTF” texts from team owner Tom Gaglardi “five times per game,” specifically about those two back-shooting horse-thieving sons of guns. Which frankly fires Lites up even more:
“I don’t give a fuck. I’m a year-to-year guy and I’ll be damned if a guy who has been as good to me as Tom Gaglardi — as good to this franchise — isn’t getting results, and those players aren’t getting it done.”
Somebody get this fellow a damp, cool towel and a damn recliner.