Photo: Rob Foldy (Getty)

Dan Mullen has what he describes as a “no-weapons” policy. No weapons! Simple enough. Certain of his players at Florida have certainly understood this “no-weapons” policy to mean no weapons, as would seem to be implied by it being a no-weapons policy:

Several players said Thursday they believed the team policy offered no wiggle room regarding weapons.

“No weapons allowed,” receiver Josh Hammond said. “That’s been our policy since coach Mullen got here.”

But that interpretation of the no-weapons policy—that it allows for no weapons—is obviously dumb and crude and wrong, you idiot. Here, let Mullen explain it himself:

“It’s a no-weapons policy in certain situations of how to be educated to not have (issues)...No weapons, that’s easy to remember. If I write out all the different (scenarios)—no weapons in these situations or have a weapon for a hunting situation, if I’m doing this, I store it at this location, I keep it here, I have gun safety rules and knowledge—that’s not a quick catch to them to register in their mind. Does that make sense?”

That’s Mullen, making perfect sense, explaining a gigantic assault rifle-shaped hole in his no-weapons policy, a week after Florida receiver Kadarius Toney was found to have a loaded AR-15 in the back seat of his car during a traffic stop. Toney will not face punishment, either from law enforcement—he legally owns the gun, and his possession of it under these circumstances reportedly does not violate Florida’s open carry law—nor from Mullen, even though his reason for carrying around a loaded semi-automatic weapon is terrifying:

Toney told officers he needed the weapon for protection from locals because “they be coming after us.”

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If a “no-weapon” policy isn’t designed to keep players from carrying assault weapons for the purposes of shooting people during altercations, there really is no point at all in having any weapons policy. But, hey, at least Toney wasn’t packing a frying pan.