Dan Shanoff's Yearly Christmas Tome

We may earn a commission from links on this page.

Continuing a Christmas tradition on Deadspin (and, before that, other fine holiday establishments), Dan Shanoff presents a special holiday poem, dedicated to the many reindeer who pull the Deadspin sleigh — usually drunk, stoned or otherwise on crack. Happy holidays!

'Twas the days before Christmas and all through Deadspin
It's an insincere joy to survey the defining voices let in.


As we all know, Leitch is merely the Commenters' shill.
Come for an original post; stay for a rat-a-tat-tat kill.

So with a nod to reindeer, it's time for the annual rite.
The rundown of the most notable Commenters, try to be polite:

Suss— and Camp Tiger Claw, you're both very punny.
Weed Against Speed, Tuffy, Chad Sexington: All very funny.


BoSox Siobahn, all would agree, is in an elite class.
Ukraine Not Weak is a gamer; Concrete Brad is an ass.

There's Hustler of Culture, Becky, Arkansas Fred, Matt_T.
Peter Cavan, saldawg, Chad Sexington, Mr. Poon and Jen P.


Supermike4ever: Everyone loves to hate (and hates to love),
Get Him a Body Bag, Yeah! And Sh!tShow exclaim with a shove.

Lingering Bursitis, Shea Guevera, Mitch Kayak, twoeightnine.
Len Bias Cocaine Surplus, Chamomile Davis (Pete Jayhawk? Fine.)


TattooedMess(iah), Big Ten Obsession, Hit Bull Win Steak, J-No.
Signal to Noise, Burnsy, Fan's Attic, Preciousroy, 44 in a Row.

Some run in gendered packs, like the Ladies... or KSK
One's empowered, one's misogynists. Don't want it another way.


Now what happens here after dark is its own must-read site:
Thanks to Yostal and Co, the nocturnal emission "Up All Night."

The taskmaster of this commenting bunch brings the pain:
Better watch out! Better not cry! (Or be banned by Iracane!)


Here's to Deadspin contributors who let Will slack days away:
To Hirshey! Shoals! Weintraub! (Shanoff!) Daddy Drew from KSK!

Don't forget the Weekend crew, logging victories and defeats:
Unsilent Majority, Suss and the foreign import J.E. Skeets.


Extra special thanks to Rick Chandler, he cannot deny us:
His witty perspective brings a much-needed West Coast Bias.

Finally the top huzzah to the ringmaster: Leitch is The Man.
Biggest thanks you can extend? Buy 3 of "God Save the Fan."


To all bloggers out there: Congrats on a huge year of soaring.
Keep up Blogdome fodder (but please stop all the link-whoring).

But Will et al would agree that what makes Deadspin so real
Is the millions of readers that make contributing a dream deal.


Because fans are what it's about, we all are agreeing.
Taking sports back for us all? Deadspin's reason for being.

So have a happy holiday! As Santa Pac-Man might exclaim:
"Merry Christmas to all! And to all 'Make It Rain!'"