Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Dead Letters: "Move Your Ass To Samolia"

Photo credit: AP
Photo credit: AP
Dead LettersWelcome to Dead Letters, the feature in which we reprint our favorite reader mail. We should take this moment to remind you that all emails to Deadspin and its editors and writers are on the record unless otherwise specified. Now for your letters.

Subject: Why are you’re coworkers such flaming libtards?

From: Chris Smith

To: Drew Magary

I like your work, but some of rest of your fellow colleagues might as well be a cling-on to Lena Dunham’s vaj hairs...


Subject: I am 59 years old and believe that your opinion might be the dumbest I have ever heard or read Up front I did not vote for Trump and have a strong dislike for him I would never, however, be so arrogant to demand that any American voter explain no less apologize for his or her vote Do you think that every Trump voter, about half of the country, should need to defend their vote Or apologize for it after 11 days of his term? You do not seem to understand that the persons who voted for him did so because they generally support his policies and still do You want them all to simply agree with your point of view? You have no clue that people of this country do not all share your point of view And maybe Tom Brady does not share your point of view Yet you want to coerce him to accept your viewpoint and denounce Trump I cannot think of anything more unAmerican And Brady’s opinion has no more value than your neighbor, coworker, uncle, friend or plumber All Americans are entitled to their viewpo

From: John Lang

To: Barry Petchesky

Sent from my iPhone

Subject: Tom Brady’s politics 

From: John Smih

To: Barry Petchesky

Who he supports is none of your fucking business u libitard. I voted for our glorious leader Donald Trump and I will explain why...

1. The Wall- We need to stop the flow of brown skinned 3rd world sewage from Mexico

2. The Muslim ban- We have to come to terms that this is a battle of religion. There is no place for this barbaric religion in our nation We are a white Christian nation and we will ALWAYS be one.

3. No more war for Israel- The Israel firsters must be stopped from involving us in the middle eastern wars, trump is going to pull us out of the middle east. Thank goodness, let the Jews fight their own battles.

On another note. I’m cheering for the Patriots in the Super Bowl become they have more white players on the team. I cheer for my own. Have a great day, I’ll leave you with this....

Glory to trump
Glory to Russia
Glory to Putin

Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

Subject: Breitbart

From: Stephan Z. Elieff

To: Patrick Redford


Please provide one example of Breitbart having “white nationalist” ties.


Subject: Politcal Posts on Deadspin 

From: Jason M.

To: Albert Burneko

Good afternoon,

I heard about Deadspin on a local Pittsburgh Sports radio station that I listen to quite often. Maybe once a month I will hear about a post that Deadspin had added as in “Deadspin is reporting.....” I started to check out your website about 2 months ago to see what it is all about. I wanted to voice my opinion that I will no longer be visiting your site. 2 main reasons.

1. The overload of Political slamming of the Trump Presidency. Regardless of who I have voted for (which yes was Trump), it is frustrating to see all of the posts that have zero to do with Sports. Instead there is an obvious view that Deadspin has against who was elected as President. I am guessing that the “owner” of Deadspin funded a portion of Hillary Clinton’s Presidential Election bid, and the Deadspin Reporters are trying to please their boss by mass populating all of these negative posts. Its become just too much.

2. All of the ads that look like real posts. I get it that you have to earn money via advertisers, but ad after ad is just nauseating.

Just wanted to add my 2 cents, as I work in a service industry and would have appreciated someone providing me constructive criticism as I walk out the door.

Thank you for your time,

Jason McMann

Subject: Wow 

From: Jason S. Garlock

To: Drew Magary

Holy shit, Drew. You need to get a grip, man.

Listen, I suspect I’m probably not you’re typical reader. 41, balding investment guy, three kids, minivan, house in the suburbs of upstate NY. And while I didn’t vote for our current President, I suspect our political leanings are fairly different.

So I understand that you may not give one single fuck what I think. But your Jambaroo made me sad this week. Not sad for me or for our country, but sad for you. You’ve got a family to take care of and a job to do. Man up.

My job is managing money for people, you’re job is making me laugh every Friday when I sneak out of the office to eat a greasy lunch by myself while reading Jambaroo or Funbag. My clients don’t expect me to pout and whine when shit is happening in the world that I don’t like, they want me taking care of their business with a clear head. Likewise I suspect your readers, even the ones that agree with you, don’t want to hear your belly aching. They can check out Jezebel for that. We came for the poop jokes and the Tomasula life hacks (seriously love that shit, keep that bit going) and whatnot.

So, please, pull it together and get back to work. We get it, youre not a fan of the Donald. But we need you to be Drew, not Rachel Maddow.

If you don’t, I will NOT read The Hike.



Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

Subject: You can’t write 

From: Margaret Sciuva

To: Albert Burneko

Why do you think people want to read your garbage?

Sent from my iPhone

Subject: 5 Rings 

From: Ray Mazalewski

To: Drew Magary

Must hurt to be a wining piss-ass loser, you f&cking twerp ! You write books ? Must be wonderful reading from guy who probably find his ass in a dark room. LOSER

Sent from my iPad

Subject: You cunt 

From: salswarren

To: Albert Burneko

You fucking spick trumps gona send your wetback ass back to that shithole mexico

Sent from my U.S. Cellular® Smartphone

Subject: tom brady 

From: Andrew Lavoine

To: Barry Petchesky

fuck you you liberal dick sucking asshole this country is great again and it just happened this week because of trump

Sent from Windows Mail

Subject: Trump article

From: Gino Cerboni

To: Albert Burneko

Dear Albert,

Your article is vial and in poor taste to say the least. You do have your freedom of speech and as many anti trump so called journalist suffer from a mental illness. I’m pray you receive our creators healing to cure the mental illness. 8 more years of our great leadership now in office...President Trump ..God bless Trump and the USA.

May your hate turn into love so you can accept the will of nation that elected our great new President Trump!

Subject: Tom Brady’s relationship Donald Trump 

From: David Carroll

To: Barry Petchesky


I laughed out loud while riding to my office on the train after I read your article regarding your personal feelings regarding Tom Brady’s relationship with Donald Trump. In particular, your line, “I don’t know what I personally want to hear from Tom Brady now. An apology would be ideal” was the absolute funniest.

First, why do you think Tom Brady would ever apologize to you for anything outside of him farting in your face? Is it just because you’re a webzine sports writer? I guarantee he has absolutely no idea who you are. None. That’s not a knock on you, I’m sure his sphere of influence is extremely small. What makes you think anyone else gives a fuck what you think about Tom Brady’s relationship Donald Trump? Especially someone relying on you for sports related information or insight. It’s not a sports related issue, and you write about sports related issues. That’s your pre-approved lane. Have you been bombarded recently with Deadspin reader mail begging you to shine a light on your personal feelings regarding Tom Brady’s relationship Donald Trump? If not, why did you waste anyone’s time writing about something so absolutely inconsequential? Your personal feelings about Tom Brady’s relationship Donald Trump are no more relevant than mine, but I know better than to shove my shit down people’s throats when they are relying on me to discuss something that’s actually relevant to them. Can’t you just be happy that anyone reads anything you write about sports? Isn’t that enough? Do we have to eat your personal feelings about other people’s relationships shit as well? Do you want to hear how I feel about Tom Brady’s relationship Donald Trump? Fuck no. Why would you? Do you have any friends you can talk to concerning your deep thoughts about other people’s relationships and the apologies you’re hoping to receive from high profile people who don’t even know you breath air? If I run into you on the street would you be obligated to explain your political proclivities to me? Of course not, it’s none of my buiness. Just because we are presently sharing the same general physical space doesn’t obligate you to tell me anything about anything. So, why does any sports figure owe you an explanation about their political beliefs? Just because you write about sports? If Tom Brady attended a political event and you pressed him on his political leanings while at that event that would still be prickish behavior but at least it would be reasonable, but that’s not the case in this scenario. You’re a sports writer working in a sports environment. You don’t have any right to ask questions not related to sports. None. Your reasoning about being owed an explanation on this matter is extremely myopic and absurd.

Also, you made a few references to Tom Brady not being intelligent. For instance, “maybe Brady’s not a sophisticated enough thinker for his support to have gone beyond “I know this guy” and “Durr, Donald’s my friend.” It’s amazingly narcissistic that you believe you or anyone else is somehow more intelligent than others simply because you don’t support Pres. Trump. I’m sure you’re an intelligent guy, but what have you ever done to demonstrate you have a high level of intelligence? Is it just because you say so and the fact you didn’t vote for Donald Trump? I hope you have more than that to demonstrate your intellectual superiority. Having high self esteem is a good thing but you can take it too far. This is a great example of someone who has taken their over inflated opinion of self worth too far. If you want to write about politics, go do that. Maybe I’ll read it because you have demonstrated you can write. That’s your prerogative, but please refrain from taking another political dump on the sports page and then surprising your readers with it.

Finally, It’s important to keep in mind that only 25% of the American population voted against Pres. Trump. So, simple math tells us that 75% of the country doesn’t share your political fervor and could feel alienated by preachy politics coming from sports writers. I hope that helps you make a better decision in the future.

Take Care.


Subject: Please stick to sports 

From: Bobby Smith

To: Albert Burneko

I’d name-call you, but that would be stooping to the lows that you and yours do just about every day. Stick to sports or go publish your political crap elsewhere is the gist of what I have to say to you. You’re just as bad as the actors. Meanwhile, I’ll seriously consider taking Deadspin off my bookmarks, because the majority of the content and comments is becoming laced with political opinion, which is the last reason for this Web site’s existence. If you want to be the catalyst for killing it off, it’s your prerogative.

From: Albert Burneko

To: Bobby Smith

Bobby. Never visit our site again. Thanks.

Go to hell,

Albert Burneko

From: Bobby Smith

To: Albert Burneko

You got it! Thanks! The first part, anyway. Enjoy your future lessons in getting priorities straight. My brother tells people to go to hell all the time. He has an undiagnosed mental illness, and no friends or family associate with him anymore.

Subject: Trump 

From: mikeogren666

To: Tips

He’s your president Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha here’s a tip for people who work there pull your heads out of each others ass hole Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Trump won

Sent on the new Sprint Network

Subject: Donald Trump Stunned To Learn...

From: T Eggert

To: Albert Burneko

“Skill free inheritance baby”?? Really?? How are you going to keep yourself from going crazy the next 8 years while he is in office? Please respond.

Todd W. Eggert
Sent from my iPad

Todd W. Eggert
Sent from my iPad

Subject: Self help

From: Larry Downey

To: Albert Burneko

Why don’t you do self help.....put yourself out of your misery....move your ass to Samolia, and got swallowed by a giant pussy so you can be reborn.......and maybe have your rectal nerve separated from your optic nerve.

Sent from my iPad

Subject: Forgiveness

From: Tpnbj2u

To: Patrick Redford

Thank God for forgiveness and no mayhave sinned or not matter the person or whatever the sins or bad things a person has done.Gods son died on the cross being born of a virgin and lived a sinless life to be our savior and by dieing on the cross and shedding his blood that he is able to forgive us if we ask and never ever remember them anymore .And by faith trust and believing in him and asking him to forgive us only by that and the only way to have forgiveness and eternal life in heaven. Thank God for Franklin Graham for traveling all over the USA to pray and bring believers to each State Capitol to pray for this country that God would hear from heaven and heal our land like God says in his word ,And all Christians prayed that prayer and God heard from heaven and that’s why we have a Christian as our Vice president and President Trump as our new Chief Executive. And all the other Christian working under our President thank God for Dr Carson and others we have seen the morals decline and this country become more ungodly as we murder babies life begins at the moment of conception and so many other sinful conditions. Ken Starr may have sinned or may not have I’m not the judge and no one else is just God himself but if he did he may have asked forgiveness already but in God’s eyes we are all sinners and are on the same level the bible says “for we all have sinned and come short of the glory of God .I pray every day just like millions of Christians do and did that God will keep going in this direction and put the right people in office that believes in Christian principles and standards.


Subject: Here’s a tip... 

From: Thomas Carver

To: Tips

Stick to sports not politics. Bye bye Deadspin.

From: Tom Ley

To: Thomas Carver


Suck my fuckin’ butt.

Subject: Trump/Concourse

From: Jack MacKenzie

To: Albert Burneko

Albert, thank you for the extra Trump votes in 2020. Singlehandedly, you engender everything relevant as to why it will be a true landslide victory for the Forces of Good over the Forces of Evil.

Trump through 2024.

Pence 2025 -2032.

It is glory, and hallelujah. Thank you for doing your part.




Subject: Brady 

From: Marc Westman

To: Barry Petchesky

You are fucking idiot