As Dan Snyder's dumbass lawsuit inches closer to Day 100 of its sorry existence, it has not escaped our notice that coverage of such a foul, protracted spectacle can have a wearying effect on those asked to attend to it daily. In the interest of further vesting you, dear readers, in The Snydering, we're tweaking this feature to include your input. Specifically, we would like your literary contributions. Once a week or so, "We Are All Dave McKenna" will be turned over to you. On these "exquisite corpse" days, the feature you've come to know and never truly love will become a group writing exercise. Think Dickens with sports. And without Dickens. Actually, think more along the lines of the hobo fiction you guys were writing down in DUAN! not long ago.
Here's how it'll work: I've written the first installment of a SATIRICAL short story about Dan Snyder. We'll post it later today. You get to write the next installment and, ideally, several to follow. They can be as short or long as you like and meander in any direction you see fit. Send your scribblings to my email (luke@deadspin.com). The winning entry will become the next mini-chapter in the story. Keep in mind that this is fiction. Just use some imagination and shoot for a loose narrative structure. Your entries don't have to be lengthy. Maybe they'll even have cliffhangers.
A few rules/guidelines:
1.) You will have two days to get your responses to me. There are, after all, only so many Dan Snyder masturbatory scenes one can process. Write as much or as little as you want.
2.) Anonymity. Should you want it, it is granted. Should you prefer a nom de plume, that can be arranged. Just tell me what name you'd like to use.
3.) The Snydering will be a weekly concern, not a daily one. I will post the next edition of the story next week, and we'll go from there. On non-Snydering days, this space will contain the reliable non-fictional non-libelous coverage you've come to expect from "We Are All Dave McKenna."
4.) Those of you published in this little endeavor can anticipate a reward. We can't promise much. We don't even know what it'll be yet, except that it will not involve United States currency. Perhaps a T-shirt. Maybe a bound version of the complete Snyder novella, smeared with hog's blood. We'll figure something out.