Decoldest Crawford is here to help beat to summer heat

As much as I want to yell at colleges, “This is your responsibility!” every time a student-athlete gets a NIL deal, I occasionally get distracted by how perfect the partnership is. Whether it’s an unheralded Kansas fullback turning a game-winning two-point conversion into an Applebee’s eating spree, or Alabama’s Ga’Quincy “Kool-Aid” McKinstry striking a deal with his (nick)namesake, a kid getting a creative payday can be equal parts heartwarming and humorous.

Enter Decoldest “To Eva Do It” Crawford, who has a name that lends itself to any number of temperature-centric advertising ventures. (What is it about a great name that makes a person immediately charismatic?) The Nebraska wide receiver’s first pun-based sponsorship has been announced, and it’s with SOS Heating & Cooling, an HVAC company located in Omaha.

A native of Shreveport, La., Crawford is no doubt used to the welcome rush of cold air that comes with walking into a well-regulated room after spending as few as 15 minutes in the insufferable heat and humidity of the South. At the very least, the arrangement is practical. Kind of like the Decoldest Crawford “Essential” iPhone case, available for purchase on his Fan Arch page. (There’s a time and a place to rant about athletes’ overuse of monograms — it’s your initials, not a logo — but that’s for another time.)

As a friend on my home state text thread pointed out, an HVAC sponsorship is extremely midwest. Second only to a LeafGuard gutter guard partnership. While the home ventilation niche has been filled, Ted & Wally’s ice cream could use a spokesperson, and I know a few dozen bars that serve ice-cold beer that could figure out a way to make it work. (Maybe wait a couple of years until the freshman is of legal drinking age though.)

The 6-foot, 180-pound Crawford is the “twitchiest” of the incoming Husker wide receivers, according to his position coach Mickey Joseph, who also moved Decoldest to the slot to help out with depth in that area. If indeed Nebraska fans will “be seeing a lot more with him soon,” as SOS Heating & Cooling promised, ideally it’s making plays on the field in addition to shilling for air conditioners.