Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

One of the perverse joys of watching the Golden State Warriors is seeing how sloppily they can play while still getting away with it. They like to pass, obviously: The Dubs keep the ball moving and have racked up the fourth-most passes and the most assists of any team this season.

But every so often the Warriors will burn half the shot clock hucking it around like someone spiked their squirt bottles with ketamine and coated the rock in vaseline—then, mystically, a High-Percentage Shot appears. There’s seemingly an instance of this every game. These are the luxuries of being the highest-functioning offense in the NBA: even their total fuck-ups come to cute and charming ends. It’s some very rude shit!


Sunday night’s luckiest mishap was this beautiful give-and-go between Klay Thompson and the skull of DeMarcus Cousins:

Cousins, usually a wonderful passer, was credited with only one assist in Golden State’s win over Miami, and it wasn’t on this play. That’s an injustice. Have you seen how lax the scorers are with assists these days? None of this matters, anyway. Give the skull of DeMarcus Cousins an assist. It did a good doink.

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