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Expected batting average on this ball hit by Kyle Schwarber: .930.

Or this.

Along with Fletcher, the youth movement is also carried by preseason, and probably current Rookie Of The Year favorite Corbin Carroll, catcher Gabriel Moreno, shortstop Geraldo Perdomo, and three-fifths of the rotation.

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Old man take a look at my life

But hey, every youth needs a mentor, and Arizona has those too. Lourdes Gurriel Jr. can’t make an out right now, with a current 13-game hitting streak, and a 1.256 OPS in May. He also has hair like this:

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(though we’ll certainly excuse you if you can’t find fun in Gurriel)

Perdomo has been the real surprise, as he wasn’t seen as much more than a glove-only shortstop, never having really hit above high-A. And he’s certainly on the good side of some fiendish BABIP treachery, with a .370 mark in that category while outrunning his expected slugging by 200 points. It won’t last, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been one of the best defenders at short this season, quite valuable in itself.

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The one guy who isn’t hitting is Josh Rojas at third, but he’s been one of the best defensive shortstops in the league in both Defensive Runs Saved and Outs Above Average. For visual proof, see here and here.

While the rotation overall has been shaky (17th in ERA) it has been more than held together by the Cy Young candidacy through two months of Zac Gallen. And he thinks the Cardinals’ bullshit is stupid, so you have to find him fun. Gallen is carrying a sub-3.00 ERA and a sub-.200 FIP with a 6-to-1 strikeout/walk ratio. Gallen has leaned heavily on his curveball this season, throwing it nearly a third of the time, and getting a 41 percent whiff rate on it. Now that the D-Backs have jettisoned professional red-ass Madison Bumgarner into the sun, they’re certainly a much lighter bunch, and the rotation behind Gallen is filled with kids Ryne Nelson, Brandon Pfaadt, and Tommy Henry, all 25, or under. And all aren’t trying to take the game back to 1972, without the drugs, like Bumgarner. All have had their bumps, but Arizona is hoping that this is what the rotation will look like for seasons to come.

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Who knows how long this can last? Even if Gallen can carry this out for a full season, Nelson, Pfaadt, and Henry will have their growing pains along with fatigue come the end of the season. The kids in the lineup will get the scouting report blues soon enough. Gurriel eventually will remember he’s almost 40. And we all know that dyed hair fades in time and the roots grow in if that is the source of his magic.

But for now, there is fun to be had. And they’re new, and if nothing else, to repeat, they punted Bumgarner to the curb as unceremoniously as possible. Let’s take what we can get.

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Follow Sam on Twitter @Felsgate to find out if he actually, one day, turns on a Cubs game.