Baseball has gotten back to the playoff rounds we remember, sort of. The wild card round, which everyone thought was going to produce some real chaos and be totally unfair, only threw up one true upset: the Marlins beating the Cubs, because the Cubs can’t hit fastballs, which seems like it’s on the same level as a basketball team that can’t jump. Rather rudimentary skill to get where they are, but hey, you do you, Northside 9.
The only other result that could be considered slightly unexpected was the Astros over the Twins, except the Twins haven’t won a playoff game since the Simpsons was funny and in this hell year of Beezlebub, why wouldn’t a team advance after making its name on bending/breaking the rules and flaunting it? We can’t waver from the theme now when we’re this close to the end. The rich die old and victorious.
So now it’s back to the customary, except the teams are in neutral sites and still with no fans so they can maintain a bubble. Except that bubble will be pierced by fans in Dallas for the NLCS and World Series, as there must be a huge cabal of Texans just dying to watch National League baseball? Makes sense I guess. You can’t throw a rock in LA without hitting a Cowboys fan. Maybe there’s a reciprocal thing going on. As long as the Cardinals aren’t around to lick the doorknobs of any podunk casino they can find, MLB has a chance of pulling this off.
So how will this shake out? Who fucking knows. But we’ll try.