Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Do Protective Cups Even Help Any More?

Illustration for article titled Do Protective Cups Even Help Any More?

In Saturday's 5-4 loss to the Capitals, the Flyers' Patrick Thoresen attempted to block a shot with his body and ended up getting drilled with the puck. But, unlike the thousands of other times this occurs during a hockey season, Thoresen got hit with the puck right in the peach basket, which dented his "protective" cup and left severe bruising. It was tough to tell what happened to him at the time. He was just rolling around on the ice, like a grapeshot moose, but it seemed fairly typical at the time. It turns out the blow was powerful enough to leave severe bruising and almost resulted in the removal of his right testicle. He's fine now — just icing it up every day and surprisingly willing to sacrifice his body again.

The question is: Do standard issue protective cups even work anymore? We've all probably worn one at some point in our lives and endured the requisite groin chafing and the deathly smell that it emits upon removal. Even though there have been upgrades in practically every other piece of athletic equipment, the cup has remained pathetically antiquated.

However, there are some improvements, like The Nutty Buddy, a product invented by former Major Leaguer Mark Littell, who is so confident in his invention's ability to prevent testicular splattering that he goes around taking 90 mile an hour fastball to the, uh, nutties.


Don't know if Littell's invention should be standard-issue, or what sort of added nut protection it could actually provide, but how many balls have to be severely damaged before these things become mandatory? Something to think about tonight, while you talk to each other this evening. Yes, I'm asking you to think about your testicles.

Let's. Go.Fly.Ers.

Junk intact, Thoresen Is Ready To Block Shots Again [The 700 Level]
The Nutty Buddy [Nutty Buddy]

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