Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Drosselmeyer Wins The Belmont Stakes

Illustration for article titled Drosselmeyer Wins The Belmont Stakes

Yes, it only lasts two-and-a-half minutes, but that's what makes it such an ideal candidate for real-time updating! I'll only be writing about the race itself, so we'll be out of here in no time.

Pre-race banter: Belmont organizers have replaced the traditional pre-race music of "New York, New York" by Frank Sinatra with "Empire State of Mind" by Jay-Z, because they believe that to be more modern and hip. (Both songs kinda stink, actually.) That ought to save the New York Racing Association from (another) bankruptcy. Good job, guys!

Oh, and don't forget: Both the Kentucky Derby and Preakness winners are not in this race. It's the sport of kings, you know?


6:35: Riders up and in the gates! And they're off....

6:36: Nobody fell! These horses are kinda fast.

6:36: First Dude is in first. Please don't Sarah Palin win anything. Even remotely.

6:37: Two horses named Dude. Are we out of horse names now?

6:37: Last Turn! Exciting!
6:38: Comeback!
6:39: Go Charley!

6:39: Did anybody catch any of that? What the hell was that announcer saying?

6:39: Oh, it was Drosselmeyer. Maybe enunciate on the call next time. And maybe say what place the horses are in, instead of just yelling names. Just a thought.


6:41: Well, I found that amusing even if no one else did. Game, set and match!

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