Screenshot: YouTube

There are plenty of perfectly good reasons to enjoy the color purple. Among them, I look quite fetching in purple shirts, which is no small matter. It’s a lovely color. If I tell you that Dwight Howard enjoys the color purple, right away you are going to assume that it’s for a dumb and bad reason. Which might seem unfair, but he did this to himself! And anyway you’re right! His reason is extremely dumb and bad.

Dwight has an expensive luxury SUV with a custom deep purple paint job, and a custom purple interior. As he explained to sportsperson interviewer Graham Bensinger during some sort of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous-style tour of Howard’s gigantic mansion, the vehicle is purple as an homage to Dwight’s favorite character from the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thanos. Which, whatever. I would argue that the filmmakers must’ve done a pretty horrendous job constructing and depicting this genocidal villain hellbent on ending half of all life in the universe if the result is a character that any even semi-rational human being could consider their favorite, but whatever. Fine.

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But then Dwight describes his reason for choosing Thanos as his favorite, and that’s when a loud record scratch sound echoes throughout the cosmos (skip to 1:38 in the video below):

“I got this purple car because of Thanos, from the Avengers. Yeah, he’s my favorite character. He was able to understand that in order for him to complete his mission, he had to get rid of his emotions, and that’s the hardest thing that we all face.”

Ah yes, the ultimate human test: ridding ourselves of emotions in order to more ruthlessly pursue our ambitions, untouched and unencumbered by the pain and terror we leave in our wake.