El Paso's Minor League Baseball Team Will Be The Chihuahuas

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The San Diego Padres have a new AAA affiliate based in El Paso, and it has finally chosen a team name: The El Paso Chihuahuas. Awful.

Minor league baseball teams get the most creative freedom with their names—the Lehigh Valley IronPigs, Lansing Lugnuts, and Montgomery Biscuits, to name a few great ones—so this decision is bullshit, even more so when you hear the other finalists. From MiLB:

The smallest of the world’s dog breeds was chosen over four other finalists in a “Name The Team” contest that garnered over 5,000 submissions, triumphing over Aardvarks, Buckaroos, Desert Gators and Sun Dogs.


Alright, hold it right there. All of those options are better than the Chihuahuas. “Buckaroos” is the weakest out of that group, and it’s still better than the Chihuahuas. Two-word team names are minor league baseball’s bread and butter, and while the Desert Gators and Sun Dogs sound like two animals made up by a third-grader who regularly wears monster truck t-shirts, they are still much better options than the Chihuahuas. The mystique and unknown potential danger of a Desert Gator or Sun Dog is significantly more intimidating than a name dedicated to one of the most annoying types of dogs.