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We didn't actually watch it, and we don't have video or anything, but apparently the Miss Universe contest was on NBC last night. The only real interesting thing about beauty contests β€” other than, "Will one of them fall down? Please?" β€” is the celebrity judges, and last night's battle had some doozies. You had Sean Yazbeck from "The Apprentice," Claudia Jordan from "Deal Or No Deal," Maria Celeste from "Al Rojo Vivo" and ... oh, OK, we don't know who any of those people are.

But who joined this illustrious crew of A-list stars and starlets? Why, no other than all-time leading rusher Emmitt Smith! You might have thought that ending his career with The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals was a humiliating way to shuffle off the stage of public view, but we have to think that trading witticisms with Santino Rice from "Project Runway" is about 1,000 times worse. And that's saying something.

There really is nothing sadder than a world-class athlete shortly after he retires. Jerry Rice on "Dancing With The Stars" (while still sitting by the phone waiting for SOME NFL team to call), Emmitt Smith judging Miss Universe, Michael Jordan doing anything ... honestly, Roberto Clemente had the right idea.

MIss Universe 2006 []