Ervin Maccarty suffered through a rather unique shark attack earlier this month—one in which the shark just would not let the hell go of him. With the small nurse shark attached to his stomach, he climbed back on his boat off the coast of Florida, where his friends tried to help him. Some choice quotes from video of the incident, in which our buddy Erv remains pretty calm while his friends hack apart the predator and offer commentary:

“Stab him or something. Stab. Stab him! Stab the shark.

“He didn’t get your penis, did he?”

“I gotta bleed him out, Erv!” *waves of laughter while man slices apart shark*

“That’s my beach towel, Erv.”

Enjoy. (Warning: shark guts, blood, general grossness)