FCC Is Still Worried About Janet Jackson's Boob

It's been almost six years since that horrible day when America first learned about the female breast and the Federal Communications Commission is still trying to find a way to punish someone for the infamous Super Bowl Nipple Fest.

I'm pretty sure that anyone who worked for CBS Sports during the 2004 Super Bowl is either dead, retired, or already in jail for far greater crimes, yet somehow the network, the government, the Third Circuit Court of Appeals, the Supreme Court, the U.N. Security Council, and the Galactic Senate continue to fight it out. Even Fox is somehow involved and they weren't even showing the game. This is officially the dumbest legal fight of all time and it's pretty much guaranteed to never end.

CBS was fined $500,000, the Third Circuit said that was nonsense, the Supremes said, "nuh-uh" and the FCC is mad because the network had the magical "seven second delay" technology, yet didn't anticipate that a former Mouseketeer could be so randy. The horror. I don't even remember who played in that game—I want to say the Bills?—let alone what Janet Jackson's breast looks like, so perhaps the national scars have healed enough that we can fire all these lawyers and get on with our lives.

FCC To Further Investigate Janet Jackson Super Bowl Reveal [Broadcasting & Cable, via Gawker]