Football Page 1415 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Kurt Warner Joins The Ranks Of White People Walking It Out
A sun-hatted Kurt Warner made an appearance at a charity flag football event and, like Buzz Williams before him, decided to dance to a song no one has liked for several years. Unlike Buzz, he's actually not bad. [Slanch Report]...

Mark Ingram's Money-Laundering Father Gets Extended Sentence For Watching Sugar Bowl
Mark Ingram, father of Heisman Trophy winner Mark Ingram, will serve an extra 27 months in federal "[Office Space quote]" prison after jumping bail to watch Alabama's 2009 Sugar Bowl loss to Utah....

Tebow Draft Rationalization Watch: The Rams Are Nothing If Not Efficient
As the NFL Draft approaches, many team fanbases stat nerds will attempt complex logical gymnastics to talk themselves into using a first-round pick on Florida quarterback Tim Tebow. Today: Numbers don't lie, dummy....

Oregon's Stolen Projector: The Real Victim
Jeremiah Masoli admitted to stealing a projector, among other things, from an Oregon frat house. But the media has criminally under-reported that aspect of the theft. We have learned exclusively that the frat was really enjoying that projector....

Chris Johnson Ruins A Perfectly Ugly Car
It's just like the Titans playbook: you can see Johnson coming a mile away and you still can't stop it. Don't mourn for that classic boat though; the paint job murdered it long before the 30-inch rims....

New Orleans Rebuilding Effort Costs 1,200 Saints Fans Their Season Tickets
The Saints are tearing out three sections of Superdome seats—displacing many season ticket holders—so they can turn their old press box into luxury suites. You're welcome, New Orleans. [WWLTV/PFT]...

Mike Bellotti Suddenly Needs To Not Work For Oregon Anymore
Mike Bellotti worked at Oregon for over 20 years, both as a football coach and athletic director, but just remembered that he left his keys in an ESPN studio and won't be coming back. Gee, I wonder why that is?...

Fighter Jet Flyover Threatens, Thrills Thousands
Two Navy fighter pilots were grounded after buzzing a Georgia Tech game at the decidedly unsafe altitude of just a few hundred feet....

Ryan Mallett's Scooter Gives SEC Fans A Head Start On Next Season's Taunts
Arkansas quarterback Ryan Mallett is getting around campus on a special scooter designed to keep his left foot off the ground. (Because a Rascal wasn't dorky enough?) I'm sure it won't come up during road games next fall. [Mr.Sec/Arkansas News]...

Irving To Milk One Last Cash Grab Out Of Texas Stadium
It'll cost fans and demolition aficionados (I call them demolitionados) $25 per vehicle to watch next month's implosion of Texas Stadium. The hole in the roof is so God can watch the implosion for free. That's the saying, right? [AP]...

How Cute, He Throws Just Like A Real Quarterback!
Tim Tebow revealed his new throwing motion today, only five weeks ahead of the draft. If you think that should throw up some red flags for GMs with a first-round pick, well, you don't know NFL GMs....

Ducks 911 Call: 'M-A-S-O-L-I, Like The Football Player'
The best part about Oregon's Jeremiah Masoli and Garrett Embry pleading guilty to second-degree burglary is that police can officially release the 911 call. Here it is, and it's excellent....

Packers Addiction Is The Most Crippling Of All
The Packers honor a man who sold his blood to afford season tickets. Sure, the medical screening saved his life, but should we really be celebrating this? [Packers.com]...

Jets Offer 50/50 Proposition; Somehow Still Underdogs
The Jets want to flip a coin with the Giants for the right to have the first game at the new Meadowlands Stadium. Seems fair, after they lost the coin toss to get their own stadium. [NYJets.com]...

Less Rex Ryan To Love
Sad news out of New York this morning; an era is over. Rex Ryan had lap-band surgery....

American Legal System Officially Invested In Brett Favre's Status
In the middle of the StarCaps trial, the plaintiffs' attorney asked Brad Childress — under oath — who the Vikings quarterback will be. Sixth Amendment be damned, Favre's will-he-won't-he game is anything but a speedy trial. [Star Tribune]...

Confusing Ad Deemed Too Sexy For Colts Fans
To protect Indianapolis's youngest football fans from being forcibly shoved through puberty by deodorant marketing, the city has rejected an ad that would have gone up in Lucas Oil Stadium....

Nerds, Catholics And State Schools Vie For Meaningless Honorific
Here's a pretty fascinating look at which programs can lay claim to being the "winningest" of all time. Rich Rodriguez has a good shot at literally ruining UM's legacy. [Detroit Free Press]...

Conviction In Darrent Williams Murder Trial
A Denver jury has found Willie D. Clark guilty in the 2007 murder of Denver Broncos cornerback Darrent Williams. His sentencing is scheduled for April 10. [Denver Post, Westword]...

Tebow Draft Rationalization Watch: The 49ers Like "Winners"
As the NFL Draft approaches, many team fanbases will attempt complex logical gymnastics to talk themselves into using a first-round pick on Florida quarterback Tim Tebow. Today: 49ers coach Mike Singletary seeks a younger version of Mike Singletary....