Football Page 1424 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Pansiest Auto Theft Charge Ever
Terry Glenn rented an SUV from National Car Rental. Terry Glenn did not return said SUV. That's grounds for arrest, and not likely to earn much street cred....

Charlie Weis Beaches Himself In Kansas City
Weis will be the Chiefs' offensive coordinator, according to Chris Mortensen's imaginary friends. [ESPN]...

Mike Ditka Was Not A Fan Of Post-Game Interviews Or Pants
Behind the scenes post-game video, circa 1988, shows a young, spry Coach Ditka bickering with the host and generally being, well....Mike Ditka. Fascinating artifact. (Bad language, but thankfully no Mini Ditka revealed.) [Kap's Korner, via]...

Charles Rogers Just Can't Quit Drinking Himself To Sleep
Former Detroit/MSU receiver Charles Rogers was arrested again, this time for falling asleep in a Mexican restaurant at 3:15 p.m. on Tuesday. Maybe he has narcolepsy. (Caused by too much alcohol.)...

Alabama Fans Threaten Weatherman, God Over Snowstorm
Tomorrow night's forecast for Birmingham, Alabama, calls for freezing temperatures and snow, possibly mixed with rain. It's a Southern TV meteorologist's wet dream. Which is why everyone is preemptively pissed at them for interrupting the BCS Championship with storm updates....

A Fitting End To The Raiders' Season
JaMarcus Russell reportedly blew off the year's final team meeting to hang out at the Palms in Vegas. I hear they have an excellent breakfast buffet there. [Oakland Tribune]...

Austin Takes The Lead In Menstrual BCS Trash Talk
We're still two days away from the fake National Championship Game, but it's not to early for fans of Texas/Alabama to start hurling gross insults at each other. Unfortunately, Alabama's nickname makes it a little too easy for some....

The 2009 Cleveland Browns: A Season Of Failure
The Cleveland Browns are not the worst team in the NFL. Yet, front office chaos, locker room drama, and a lot of lousy football have made them exemplars of what it means to be a terrible sports franchise....

Your NFL Coaching Carousel Update
In these trying times, it's hard to know who is actually in charge of your awful NFL team. We'll do our best to keep you informed of these frequently changing and occasionally riveting announcements....

Mark Sanchez: One Of The Poise, Again
"Mark Sanchez's teammates and coaches have noticed something different about him recently," Rich Cimini writes. "They've seen more poise than before..." It's back! [New York Daily News]...

Reruns Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the NFL teams who beat another team just to win the right to play that same team again. Why did they even bother?...

Zorn Officially Out
Guess no one told the Redskins that they could sleep in today. Jim Zorn was escorted from the building at 4:45 a.m. this morning and Bruce Allen didn't even buy him breakfast. [ESPN]...

Texans Make Some Nosie
The Patriots deliver an epic F-U to the Steelers by choking their game away, but karma hits them back. A surprisingly compelling early slate, with some huge injuries and even a snow game....

Your Late Games Open Thread
Brandon Marshall was reportedly benched for missing a therapy session. (It was physical therapy for his ostensibly injured hamstring, but it's funnier if you leave that part out.) Let's watch the Chiefs and Raiders try to play spoiler. [ESPN]...

Pat White Carted Off After Helmet-To-Helmet Hit (Update)
For now, here's the highlight on NFL.com. But who's got that video? UPDATE: We do!...

Introducing: The Curtis Painter Rule
The NFL is reportedly considering persuading playoff-bound teams to play their starters by rewarding them with additional draft picks. Sounds good in the wake of last week's Colts abortion, but let's back the fuck up for a second....

Your Early Games Open Thread
Jackpot! Both FOX and CBS have two games today. Too bad most of the rosters will be UFL-quality. It's Curtis Painter's time to shine! [The506]...

Mike Leach Has Never Been Particularly Nice To Adam James
This just gets better and better for Leach, doesn't it? Two of his witnesses just turned stoolies for the university, and now video emerges of him cussing out James and kicking him out of practice....

The Demolition of Texas Stadium, Brought To You By Macaroni and Cheese
Kraft is sponsoring the upcoming destruction of the Cowboys' old home, along with a children's essay contest where the winner gets to pull the trigger. Bet you wish you'd taught your kids to read and write now, eh Philadelphia?...

Didn't Throw Up Enough On New Year's Day? This Should Do the Trick
Warning: the image after the jump, of Florida Gators running back Jeff Demps's elbow doing something it's not supposed to, isn't for the squeamish. So go ahead and skip it while I mock you by prancing around the room daintily....