Football Page 1445 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
My Hot NFL Picks This Weekend
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! It is NFL Day. Here are my Hot Six Spread Picks for the weekend, given gratis and at no charge. DISCLAIMER: What you do with this information is At Your Own Risk. (LOL)...
Raiders Make Richard Seymour An Offer He Can't Accept
Good news! If Richard Seymour doesn't report within five days he doesn't have to play for the Raiders this year! He's also suspended and won't get paid his $3.6 million salary, but life is full of compromises, isn't it? [ESPN]...
They're Back!
The mad genius has returned with his NFL TV distribution maps. Enjoy that awful Vikings/Browns game, most of the country! [The506.com]...
The Chargers Sure Can Stuff Their Fat Faces
As per tradition, rookie Larry English took the team out to dinner — to the tune of $14,508.67. The real question is, which poof ordered the raspberry sorbet? [Shaun Phillips' Twitter, via Shutdown Corner]...
You Are Cordially Invited To The Alvin Keels Pool Party
While the whole Andre Smith contract abortion was playing out, we assumed his agent was working the phones nonstop. Instead, he was making embarrassing videos hyping his pool party....
NFL To Let You Watch Games Long After They're Relevant
Blackout rules mean that if your local NFL team sucks, you don't get to watch their games live. Now by letting you watch the game "on a delayed basis," the league is acting like they're doing your a favor....
Orlando Brown Allegedly Leaves His Ex-Wife Something To Remember Him By
Najeh "Deuce" Davenport was crowned the king of unlawful defecation after he took a dump in his girlfriend's laundry basket back in 2002. Now it appears the plunger has been passed to Orlando Brown, a man of even greater fiber....
John Madden Agrees To Work For NFL, Save Frank Caliendo's Career
The former broadcaster/coach, apparently bored with retirement already, has been hired as a "Special Advisor to the Commissioner." "See this right here? That's a four-game suspension for drug use. BAM!" [ProFootballWeekly]...
Alabama Fan Is Not Pleased About That Last Call
Not only did college football return to us last weekend, it brought back a classic genre of the YouTube age—the overstimulated SEC fan boiling over with rage as they watch their team fail on TV....
Out-Of-Context Quotes Make Shawne Merriman Look Pretty Guilty
"I've been able to knock somebody out....I must have split personalities....I'm so dangerous right now I scare myself." [Playboy]...
Brady Quinn Will Guide Your Browns To Victory In 2009, New Media Says
The Cleveland Plain Dealer reports that Eric Mangini has confirmed the report by Pro Football Talk via Terrell Owens' congratulatory Twitter message that Quinn will start this Sunday against the Vikings. Welcome to the new journalism. [Cleveland Plain Dealer]...
Help Wanted: Preposterous NFL Project 2009
Dear Readers: If anyone in the NYC area would like to volunteer to care for our football-playing gerbil and frog this year, please contact me. Consider it an internship. Sort of. No, this is not a joke....
Harrison Accuser Dies From Gunshot Wounds
Dwight Dixon, the man who accused Marvin Harrison of shooting him back in 2008, was shot again this July and never regained consciousness. He died on Friday. No charges have been filed in either case. [Philly Daily News]...
Terrelle Pryor May Not Be The Best Spokesman For Michael Vick
So some stuff happened this weekend, huh? We might have missed some of it. Like that thing Terrelle Pryor said about murderers? What was that all about?...
Choose Your Side In The Great Tequila-Merriman Twitter War
Shawne Merriman wants an internet hug. Tila Tequila would like to teach the world about "roid rage." It's all part of their strategy to win the public relations battle by taking their domestic dispute online....
Jay Mariotti Thinks USC’s Freshman QB Is Totally Cute
It's not uncommon for sportswriters to have man-crushes on athletes, but when you lead with this Freudian slip, you're bound to raise some eyebrows: "The afternoon sun was orgasmic. … Yet nothing was more radiant than Matt Barkley's smile."...
Shawne Merriman Knows How To Beat A Lady (UPDATED)
San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman was arrested last night after allegedly roughing up his girlfriend, noted internet person Tila Tequlia. Way to start the season strong, buddy....
Todd Marinovich's Half-Brother Would Like to Show You His Pistols
In his debut for Syracuse this afternoon, QB Greg Paulus threw a fatal interception in OT that cost his team the game. Luckily for the Orange, they've got a couple of spare guns on their defensive line....
Ex-OSU Tight End May Have a Problem With Raping People
Earlier this week, sophomore Jamal Mosley up and left the Oklahoma State football team for what head coach Mike Gundy called "personal reasons". Turns out by "personal reasons", he meant "multiple rape allegations". To-may-to, to-mah-to, I guess....
Guess Hugh's Back?
The Hugh Johnson Project, that is the one who is back!...