Football Page 1453 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A One-Day Study On Use And Variance Of "Pussy" Uttered By Brian Urlacher
First Bobby Wade said that Brian Urlacher called new teammate Jay Cutler a pussy. Urlacher denied it. Then Urlacher said the radio stations starting this nonsense were the pussies. Explanations and clarifications disrupt a quiet Wednesday in the Windy City....

Sources: With Favre's Decision, ESPN Will Have To Turn Elsewhere For Worthless Scoops
One of the many tragedies of Brett Favre's non-unretirement is that Ed Werder and Chris Mortensen, ESPN's Woodward and Bernstein of the small-bore, will no longer be feverishly working their anonymous sources for the world's most trivial Favre scoops....

Shy, Retiring Sort Shockingly Takes To Ustream
Chad Ocho Cinco's doing the Marbury thing on Ustream, minus the God and most of the crazy. At last check, he was wearing a robe, calling Lil Wayne on speakerphone and saying things like, "I'm the new ESPN, man." [Ustream]...

Bears Fans In China Delight In Favrefreude
Fake malls in China sell everything, from pearls of all sorts to No. 4 Vikings jerseys for $16. Oh, those poor diehards in Shanghai, new owners of some high-quality threads. They're in for quite the surprise.(PHOTO: Adam Minter) [MinnPost]...

Drew Brees' Crazy Mom Moves Up To Extortion
For the record, Saints QB Drew Brees still has a "nonexistent" relationship with his mother, so he probably didn't sign off on her recent plan to dupe Texas restaurants into paying her for the name of their own business....

Jim Johnson Passes Away At 68
I shouldn't be the one doing this post. A.J.'s the Eagles fan. I'm a Giants fan. But I've got absolutely no problems being the one to eulogize one of the most respected figures in the 21st century NFL....

FAVRE! FAVRE! FAVRE! FAVRE! FAVRE!
Is staying retired. For now. [StarTribune]...

Japan Learns How To Lose From Notre Dame
Lou Holtz coached up the Fighting Irish and, afterward, a losing coach bemoaned a moral victory, so Saturday's college football exhibition was just like any other. Except Notre Dame won. And the game was in Japan....

Drew Bennett's Glorious Two-Day Run With The Ravens
On Friday, wide receiver Drew Bennett was healthy, rested and ready to play. So Baltimore gave him a one-year contract. Then he woke up on Sunday with a sore knee, so he retired. Didn't the Ravens call no takebacks?...

Michael Vick Is Back In Business (Sorta)
NFL.com just posted this cryptic statement: "The NFL has reinstated Michael Vick on a conditional basis. The former Falcons QB will be considered for full reinstatement and to play in regular-season games by Week 6." Um. Okay?...

Plaxico Burress Should Get Used To Confined Spaces
Manhattan's District Attorney says any plea deal with Plaxico Burress (remember that hilarious gun accident?) will involve jail time. (And Antonio Pierce isn't off the hook either.) It's almost like they're mad at him for breaking the law! [NY Post]...

This Lady Will Soon Run The New Orleans Saints
Her name is Rita Benson Leblanc. Granddaughter of Saints' owner Tom Benson. At 31 she's the VP of the Saints. But the Times-Picayune argues that her pedigree is only part of her success....

T.O. Explains To Trent Edwards Exactly When He'll Make His Life Miserable
T.O. drives the Buffalonians bananas on his first day at mini-camp. You get the impression that this is the one place in the NFL universe where his spectacle isn't only welcome, but desperately needed. (PHOTO: H/T William V.) [Buffalo News]...

Yankees And Patriots Are Selling Fake Jerseys
Okay, not the sports teams, but the more accurately described group — our soldiers — are being accused of buying fake memorabilia in Korea and reselling them....

Steve Spurrier Apologizes For Not Genuflecting To The Tebow
SEC coaches and journalists spent maybe six hours of the conference's three-day media tugjob fretting over the vicious bastard who didn't pick Tim Tebow as No. 1 Super QB of the year. All because Steve Spurrier can't read....

That's 28 Games In Dog Years
ESPN gets back to doing what they do best: breaking news. Michael Vick will reportedly be suspended for the first four games of 2009. [ESPN]...

The NFL Draft Goes After <i>Grey's Anatomy</i>'s Territory
The excruciatingly long NFL Draft will expand to three days in 2010, with the first round airing Thursday, the most-watched night of television. Roger Goodell against Meredith Grey, the lead in CSI and Liz Lemon? That's a dealbreaker, ladies. [PFT]...

One Mission Tim Tebow Won't Accomplish This Year
Thanks to Clay Travis' question, it's official: Tim Tebow is saving himself for marriage! That's splendid for Sports Illustrated, which will now recycle this cover for next week's issue. See? Even journalism is no match for Tim Tebow. [FanHouse]...

Mike Vick Has Needs That Prison Couldn't Satisfy
What's the first thing Vick did after being released from prison? Hit a strip club with Allen Iverson on amateur night, of course. Being a free man ain't cheap. [TBL]...

Marvin Harrison's Accuser Shot Again, And What This Has To Do With Big Ben
A man who claims he was shot by Marvin Harrison last year was shot again. That's a nebulous sports connection, but you better believe it was on ESPN.com's front page today....