Football Page 1454 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
TebowGate Is Tearing The SEC Apart
Forget LeBron, forget Erin Andrews, the real sports mystery of our time is playing out in the SEC. Someone doesn't think Tim Tebow is the second coming. Don't worry, we'll sniff out the blasphemer....
Would You Let Ricky Williams Massage Your Head?
Ricky Williams is no longer searching for enlightenment in the bottom of a water bong. Oh, he still wants enlightenment, but now he's looking for it in a second career as a holistic healer....
Does ESPN's "Do Not Report" Policy Make Any Sense?
Still not a peep from ESPN on Ben Roethlisberger's legal troubles—and once again no Blog Buzz on SportsCenter—so as long as Big Ben keeps his mouth shut they're standing behind their decision to not stand behind this story....
In This Case, The Zebra Is Not A Euphemism
A Pittsburg State football player will miss this season after a zebra bit him in the arm. Why was he near a zebra in Kansas? He was moving four of them to paint a fence. Damn zebras, man. [KC Star]...
What Exactly Is Ben Roethlisberger Accused Of Anyway?
Now that the people who care have had time to survey and digest the complaint against Pittsburgh's Ben Roethlisberger, a clearer picture has emerged about the accuser and her allegations and it's not pretty. Here's an attempt to summarize:...
ESPN Breaks Its Silence On Ben Roethlisberger
Fantasy Alert: Big Ben is listed as probable for Week 1 (knee, sexual assault lawsuit.) Adjust your rosters accordingly. [ESPN]...
Michael Vick's Next Magical Kingdom
Once upon a time, in a land not-so-far away, he spent 21 months in prison. Now, he might train for an NFL return at Disney's Wide World of Sports. In Disney World! Everyone's about to live happily ever after. [Sentinel]...
Okay, Perhaps Kellen Winslow Is A Soldier
We've all mocked Kellen Winslow in the past for grossly overestimating his own bravery. But perhaps it's time to reconsider, given that last year, he had his testicles sliced open....
Mike Shanahan Shuts His Mouth, Knows His Role
Mike Shanahan will be the highest paid coach in the NFL this season, provided he doesn't actually coach anybody. Or talk to anybody. Yes, getting fired from a high-paying job is great work if you can get it....
Ben Roethlisberger Accused Of Sexual Assault
WTAE-Pittsburgh reports that a Nevada casino employee has filed a civil lawsuit against Steeler quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, accusing him of sexual assault. His attorney denies the charge. More tomorrow, obviously, when Feel Good Story Week continues. [WTAE-TV; PFT]...
Lawrence Taylor Is Easing Into NFL Elder Statesman Role Quite Nicely
"A lot of the guys will sit there and live football. Every Sunday they're glued to the t.v. watching football. I don't watch football. I'd rather watch two people fuck" [Sports Radio Interviews]...
Michael Vick Is Free!
The ankle bracelet is off, folks! Having served his debt to society—give or take a few years of probation—Michael Vick is officially a free man. As long as your definition of "free" does not include playing football professionally....
USF Kicker Nominates Self For Darwin Award With Theme Park Mishap
It's the kicker-gets-injured story that has everything: a second-rate Florida football school, a second-rate Florida theme park, and a totally preventable injury that's not too serious to make fun of him....
Report: Notre Dame Will Play Army At Yankee Stadium In History's Most Insufferable Football Game
Pat Forde's reporting that the Fighting Irish will take on the Black Knights in 2010 at Versailles-on-the-Harlem, reviving a longstanding New York tradition of Irish people fighting the Army that dates all the way back to the Draft Riots. [ESPN]...
Minnesota Media Treating Favre's (Pending? Inevitable?) Arrival With Restraint
The Minneapolis Star-Tribune isn't missing out on an opportunity to set purple hearts aflutter, so they've decided the best way to satisfy their wild-eyed readers infected with Favre Fever is to dedicate an entire section to him....
Is That A Threat, Detroit?
The Lions ill-advisedly offer to let their fans relive 0-16, anytime they want. Gee, thanks. [H/T: Reader Tim]...
Have You Seen This Purple Convertible?
Granted, Carolina linebacker Thomas Davis' $136,000 purple and chrome Caprice Classic really blends into a crowd, but it was stolen last week, so holler if you find it. Must be a lot of Panther-loving Prince fans out there. [WFMB/WRAL]...
Jason Whitlock Vs. Marty B In Racial Flame War ‘09: WHO YA GOT? (UPDATED)
Our favorite oozing pumpkin Jason Whitlock is forging an Enemies List not seen since the last days of Richard Nixon: Selena Roberts, Serena Williams, Hamstring Stretches, etc....
Good Samaritan Gives Tom Brady His Much Needed $4,000
After hearing about the plight of an ex-con, panhandling to re-pay $4,000 to the Patriots' quarterback, a kind businessman has volunteered to pay the debt on his behalf—keeping Tom Brady blissfully unaware that anything has gone wrong....
Have You Heard Of This Tebow Kid?
I know summers are slow for football columnists, but if Ivan Maisel is already dipping into the "Tebow as Glorious Leader" well in early July—apparently, he's a bit religious!—it's going to be a very long September. [ESPN]...