Football Page 1493 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Who Are The Elders of Tomorrow?
When Chad Pennington dislocated his shoulder the other day, we lost one of The Elders of football and the quarterbacking arts....
Could There Be a Problem With the Oakland Raiders?
Weird! Journeyman quarterback Jeff Garcia—usually so reticent to speak his mind—is criticizing his former team, the Raiders of Oakland, California!...
Important College Football Picks
College football! Do you root for the school you attended? Or are you just some asshole who likes to root for some team you have nothing to do with? I don't follow it because I hate indentured servitude and polls....
Why Did New Mexico's Coach Punch His Assistant? Whatever
New Mexico coach Mike Locksley is maybe going to be out of a job soon since he probably slugged his own assistant coach in the face. And all because the other guy had to go and get catty....
Getting Free Shoes Does Not Make You A Celebrity Endorser
Nike has been forced to admit publicly that they have not signed Michael Vick to a new endorsement deal, after one of his agents said they had. (They're simply supplying him with gear.) Gee, that's awkward. [USAToday]...
Ford Field Pants Dropper Can Totally Explain This
As you would probably expect, when one dude is caught on camera choking out another dude who isn't wearing pants the natural response is usually, "It's not what you think!" Well, the gentleman on top has finally spoken up....
Brady Quinn's Wild Ride Comes To An End. For Now.
Yes, campers, Derek Anderson (née Horse Balls) has been summoned to save the struggling football team in Cleveland once again. [SI/WaitingForNextYear/ClevelandFrowns]...
NFL Gets Brained By Its Own Study
The NFL is slowly coming around to the idea that football can cause significant cognitive damage to its participants. Previously, this view was held by only players, fans, neuroscientists and those members of Western civilization not on the NFL's payroll....
Lifting Weights Obsessively Helped Stafon Johnson Survive Nasty Weightlifting Accident
Dr. Gudata Hinika, trauma director at California Hospital Medical Center: "Had that been any one of us, meaning me, I would not have survived. His neck was so solid and so muscular, that actually helped maintain his airway." [LAT]...
Stafon Johnson's Prognosis Is Good
The USC tailback, hurt yesterday when a weight bar fell on his neck, underwent seven hours of throat surgery. He's in critical but stable condition. "We all feel a bit damaged today and injured," Pete Carroll said. [LA Times]...
Lions Fan Enjoys Historic Victory Sans Pants
Detroit fans have suffered through eons of metaphorical de-pantsings, so it's understandable that a few dudes attending Sunday's monumental victory would look to continue the tradition by literally dropping trou during a drunken game of grab-ass....
USC Running Back In Horrific-Sounding Weight-Room Accident
"ESPN's Shell[e]y Smith is reporting USC RB Stafon Johnson has been taken to the hospital after a bar came down on his throat in the weight room. Johnson was coughing up blood." [CBS2]...
The Ron Zook Coaching Tree Bears Intense Fruit
First-year New Mexico coach Mike Locksley learned at the knee of famous intensity-pisser Ron Zook, and it seems he learned well. Locksley now stands accused of punching his wide receivers coach in the face....
Welcome To The Chad Henne Era, Miami Fans
Chris Mortensen says: Chad Pennington has a torn shoulder something and is probably done for the year. (He'll get a second opinion, but James Andrews has already cut him open twice.) That's why Jimmy Buffett invented the Wildcat, right? [ESPN/SecondStringFullback]...
The Poise Is Back In Town
Another week, another victory for Mark Sanchez, another opportunity for New York Times Jets writer Greg Bishop to limn the quarterback's lukewarm heroics with his favorite word. You know the one....
Michael Crabtree Surviving Off Delicious Subway Sandwiches
Professional holdout Michael Crabtree has still not signed with the San Francisco 49ers, but don't worry about him. His marketing agent has him endorsing Subway, which is perfect because Crabtree is probably really, really hungry....
Missouri Manages To Screw Up Throwing Out Cell Phones
When your school is trying to raise money, sell cookies or something. Don't sell your coaches' old mobile phones. And if you must, make sure the address books and text messages have been erased. I'm looking at you, Mizzou....
NFL Roundup: Hey, Look Who's Back
Wow, there were some crappy early games. Thankfully there were a few sideshows and massive failures to keep things interesting. Oh, and this Favre fellow....
Your Late Games Open Thread
In future NFL bust news, Tim Tebow has been released from the hospital and is heading home. In current NFL bust news, most of you get to watch either JaMarcus Russell or Cedric Benson. [Florida Times-Union]...
It's Raiders vs. Gannon In What Amounts To An Unpopular Girl Catfight
It's one of those fights where even if you win, you're still a loser. But let's break down the hissy fit the Raiders are throwing over Rich Gannon....