Football Page 1494 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Early Games Open Thread
Lions fans, please ignore the distribution maps, as your apathy has rendered them irrelevant. Basically only the Beltway gets to see the Skins become Detroit's first win in years. Bank on it. [The506]...

"Motherf***er Hit My Penis"
Minnesota's Simoni Lawrence crotches himself on a yard marker, and provides us with a contender for quote of the year....

Deadspin Red Alert!
Yup, it's a concussion, but don't worry!...

Respiratory Illness Will Not Slow Tim Tebow
In case Florida fails to crush another mediocre SEC opponent tonight, Urban Meyer can safely recycle his flu excuse. Sickness has ravaged the Gators, including Tim Tebow, who flew to Lexington on a separate plane last night. [Dr. Saturday]...

Browns' No-Nonsense Rookie Apparently Not Familiar With Concept Of "Prank"
Rookie Coye Francies turned punchy yesterday after fellow teammates playfully dowsed him with a bucket of ice. Abram Elam deflected Francies' blows before Shaun Rogers managed to pull the rookie out of the locker room by his shirt.[ESPN]...

Your College Football Open Thread
Sound Off Here. Photo courtesy of Busted Coverage...

Cowboys Repent For "Party Pass" Hell (Sort Of)
We reported on the special circle of hell the Cowboys reserved for their Party Pass holders on Sunday. Almost a week later, Jerry Jones is finally owning up to the mayhem which, in Jerry's defense, made the record books....

And Now, Your Official Plaxico Burress Mug Shot
Plax, in his New York State Department of Correctional Services mug shot. Curiously, he seems to have grown an inch since his playing days. Prison's already made him a bigger man. [The Smoking Gun]...

Looking Cool Will Get You Fined
The No Fun League slapped Sheldon Brown with a $10,000 fine for wearing this sweet Friday the 13th mask instead of a boring football helmet onto the field last Sunday. So much for individuality. [ShutdownCorner]...

Your <em>Sporting News</em> College Football Athlete Of The Decade Is ... Matt Leinart?
Yup, Leinart's the best. He even managed to beat out past and future NFL failures Chris Weinke, Eric Crouch, Jason White, Alex Smith and Tim Tebow for the honor. [Sporting News]...

Sports Numerology Will Drive You To Madness
Tired of scanning the sports pages, insider blogs and talk radio to gain an edge on Vegas on Sundays? Turn to the one science that's empirically proven (at least according to its biggest proponent) to pick winners: numerology....

Detroit Can Finally Watch Some Decent Football This Sunday
Because the Lions are blacked out! For some inexplicable reason, the Lions failed to sell out Sunday's Matt Stafford vs. Jason Campbell showdown by today's 1 p.m. deadline, so lucky fans get to enjoy Niners-Vikings instead. [Detroit News]...

Hines Ward Clearly Enjoyed Almost Decapitating A Man
After Hines Ward broke Keith Rivers' jaw with a nasty blindside block last year, the NFL implemented something called "The Hines Ward Rule", outlawing high blind side hits. Hines Ward won't abide, but he thinks it's pretty cute....

Fancyman NBC Columnist Would Like To Teach “Boorish” Jets Fans Some Manners
Michael Ventre has made a career out of condemning the sinners of sport with his fancy moralizing. But many feel his latest screed— "Fat, Boorish Jets Fans Have a Slovenly Coach to Match"— may have gone too far....

Rikers Inmates Are Apparently Jets Fans
"Plaxico Burress got a zero's welcome behind bars at Rikers Island, including taunts of 'a - - hole!' and 'The Giants suck!' according to jail guards." [New York Post]...

$1.3 Billion And Not A Decent Boiler In The Place
Giants LB Danny Clark: "There's not a lot of hot water in there. (Jones) cut some corners in the bathroom there...It was lukewarm at best." [Newsday]...

There's One In Every Crowd
A desperate Wisconsin Badger fan that is. He will do whatever it takes to draw attention to himself, even if that means buying tickets for 100 Midshipmen to be his personal bodyguards. (Click to embiggen.)...

Lambeau Leap Buddies Were Ochocinco Plants
What would you do if you learned that the greatest moment in Cincinnati Bengals history was a lie? Well, didn't the "coincidence" of three Bengal fans scoring front row tickets at Lambeau on Sunday seem too good to be true?...

Sean Salisbury Has A Few Things To Get Off His Chest
Former ESPNer Sean Salisbury was fired from a Dallas radio station two weeks ago and he finally responded to us about the allegations— in the most colossally unhinged way possible. Brace yourselves for the mother of all media meltdowns....

We Didn't Have To Wait Long For USC's Meltdown This Year
Aaron Corp, the most hated man in University Park, shook off Saturday's abortion of a game by partying it up at a frat. Meanwhile, Pete Carroll's song of the day: "The Kids Aren't Alright." [Bleacher Report]...