Football Page 1497 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NFL Update: Thou Shalt Not Load Thy Box With 8 Men
Tennessee 13, Minnesota 7. The Titans think they're able to stop Purple Jesus. But Peterson already has 44 yards and one TD...NY Jets 21, Arizona 0. It's raining in this game. RAINING FAVRE! They're reviewing this last touchdown to Coles, perhaps to see if there was any illegal touching... Green Bay...
NFL Stuff You Need To Know This Weekend
News, notes and updates, delivered to you all at once, as you get ready for viewing Week 4 of the NFL. Please keep your hands and arms inside until you reach the end of the post. Carson Palmer is listed as the emergency QB this week, which means he won't play unless Nos. 1 and 2 go down. The move me...
'We Beat Georgia By This Much' And Other Games
No. 8 Alabama 41, No. 3 Georgia 30. The Crimson Tide continue to impress in national primetime. Last night, they dispatched of their second Top-10-ranked opponent this season, with neither game being played at home. Georgia's choice of shrubberies and uniform color proved to be moot as Alabama ran u...
One Of Your Winners Tonight Could Be No. 1 Next Week
Going into tonight, the day's schedule of games appeared really ass-heavy with all of the big ranked-vs-ranked matchups scheduled to play out in prime time. But with the exciting finish of UNC-Miami, the Ole Miss upset over Florida, and now with Michigan coming from behind to stun Wisconsin, the lat...
Hugh 3: Updating The Late Games
No. 9 Wisconsin 19, Michigan 0. Great play in the first half from Wisconsin on fourth-and-short where the punter ran up under center and used a hard count to draw Michigan offside to keep the Badgers' drive alive. Bret Bielema might be the most creative coach in America. And Michigan still sucks. Co...
Recapping The Nooners: Jevan Snead Will Eat Your Babies
Ole Miss 31, Florida 30. NOOOOOOO!!! TEEEBOOOOOOOW!! TEEEBOOOOOOOWW!! NOOOOOO!!! Nutt. Snead threw for 185 yards, thew two TDs, ran for another, cured AIDS and created the first perpetual motion machine. Tebow couldn't find a rhythm in the face of the Rebels' pass rush, and the two Sunshine State sc...
Hugh 2: UNC Steals TD Pass, Game From Miami
UNC defensive back Tremaine Goddard ripped Miami's game-winning touchdown out of the hands of Kayne Farquharson in the end zone. Farquharson had the ball (and the game) on his hands, only to have it pilfered by Goddard to save the game for the Tar Heels, 28-24. Almost as unreal as the video of a Hur...
Torry Holt Would Like to Apologize for Sucking
First Steven Jackson was totally not happy with Rams' head coach Scott Linehan's decision to bench Marc Bulger in favor of Trent Green. Former All Pro and now mediocre wide receiver Torry Holt is the latest to voice his displeasure with the whole situation. He just wants to play some football, "It w...
Elway Engaged To Former Raiderette
Former Denver Broncos superstar John Elway is engaged—to a former Raiders cheerleader. Traitor bastard! Paige Green, a 41-year-old that Elway met at a golf tournament three years ago, moved to Denver a year after she met the NFL Hall-Of-Famer. John presumably celebrated the engagement in typical Elw...
HUGH I: Uh Oh, Clemson Has Decided To Show Up This Week
Something strange happened on the way to Death Valley this afternoon—Clemson woke up. Tommy Bowden must have decided that this would be the one ACC game where he would actually prepare his team. C.J. Spiller ripped off a 35-yard run, while the Tiger defense managed a goal-line stand to hold the Terp...
Laundry To Play Somewhat Prominent Role In Big Games
Georgia is whipping out the (yawn) black jerseys for their game against the Crimson Tide tonight, which I guess is fine, if you don't get worked up about the concept of landscaping or the lineage of dogs. Penn State, kicking off their conference slate tonight against Illinois, will be wearing their ...
Hunter Cant(Throw)Well Serves Up Pick-Six, Cards Mucked Again
After their 26-21 loss to Big East rival UConn, the Louisville Cardinals' short run as a nationally prominent football program seems to be winding down. First-year starting quarterback Hunter Cantwell threw a pick-six in the last three minutes of their game last night, snatching defeat from the prov...
Seahawks Message Board Poster Succeeds In Creating Rivalry With The Giants, Fails As Human
On many occasions, team message board trash talk veers toward some very unpleasant depths, but some of the stuff being circulated on the popular Seahawks fan message board "Seahawks Huddle" right now has sparked an amazing amount of negative responses thanks to its unprecedented levels of classlessn...
College Football Preview: The Blackout Is Coming to Georgia!
If you stayed up past midnight on the east coast last night to watch USC-Oregon State right now you're blearily wiping your eyes and cursing the decision as lunch nears and all you want to do is crawl under your desk and sleep. If you're like me you might also be questioning why you let Birmingham,...
Oregon State Fans Know How To Celebrate
Honestly, I think that Oregon State students were more excited about having Erin Andrews on campus than they were with the Beavers' 27-21 upset of USC. It seems as if every second sign in the place had some reference to her. Kudos to Beaver Nation for getting this sign on the air ... a move that was...
Innuendo Bowl LXXI: #1 USC Trojans vs. Oregon State Beavers
Do you like games where the No. 1 team loses on the road? Well, too bad, because that game's not for a few weeks. Until then, we have a nice Pac 10 game between two "rivals" for you which will be over by mid-second quarter. We got ESPN's Chris Fowler, Jesse Palmer, and Craig James(er) in the box. We...
Nation Stunned By Brazen Kidnapping Of Keggy The Dartmouth Keg
Order has only begun to be be restored to the peaceful tree-lined streets of Hanover, New Hampshire today after the shocking kidnapping ordeal suffered by Keggy, the popular Dartmouth College beer keg. The quasi-official school mascot was ruthlessly abducted and held for ransom over the weekend, and...
Shocking Development In Idaho Cheerleading Controversy
Cassie Helm, the Idaho State cheerleading coach whose squad was ordered to tone down their uniforms because they were wee a might too revealing, has resigned in a fit of selfless protest. Last week, you may recall, the Vandals' cheerleaders were ordered out of their skimpy outfits by campus administ...
Thursday Night Football Primer: USC Prepares To Crush Oregon State
Give ESPN credit for Thursday night college football. In the beginning the Thursday night slate was awful. Rarely, if ever, would good teams play against other decent teams. It was the bottom of the college football barrel. Then teams started to recognize the value in monopolizing the nation's atte...
Meanwhile, Down At The Arlington DMV ...
Sunday night can't get here soon enough for Washington Redskins fans, one of whom slipped this little gem past the ever-vigilant profanity watchdogs at his local Department of Motor Vehicles. The plates on his other car say "Assman." Elsewhere, noting that Terrell Owens is not in the NFL top 10 in e...