Football Page 1567 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jeremy Shockey Would Like To Set The Record Straight
Jeremy Shockey just wants you to know that he won't be letting up this season ... he plans to party as hard as he did in 2005. Man, where would we be without Shockey? With Terrell Owens minding his manners in Dallas and Marcus Vick having not brandished a weapon in months, we are truly blessed that ...
Ixnay On The Ambling-Gay!
This week's winner of the Asshole Who Ruins Everything For Everyone award goes to Charles Humphrey....
Shortening Your Saturdays
The Wizard of Odds has been all over this wacky new rule in college football, rule 3-2-5-e. It's not getting a lot of attention from the major outlets, but it could have a major effect on college football games, and it has a lot of college coaches pissed off something fierce....
Reggie Bush Finally Gives In To Fans With Lame Signs
It seems like Reggie Bush's holdout garnered a lot of attention for a something that ended up lasting a grand total of two days. Many of you had more contentious negotations while trying to get laid this weekend. And as soon as he scores his first touchdown, no one's even going to remember that ther...
There's A Reason For Vernon Davis's Schoolgirl Smile
There's been a lot of those "first round draft pick signs a contract" stories in the past couple of days; the kinds of stories you only care about if they involve someone on your team, or if the negotiations get particularly ugly. But one such deal did stand out yesterday. Former Maryland TE Verno...
Willie Roaf Opts For Retirement
If you're an undergrad sociology student at UC-Irvine, you're about to get a big-ass classmate. Chiefs tackle Willie Roaf announced his retirement yesterday, as well as his intentions of going back to school to get the sociology degree he didn't finish at Louisiana Tech....
The Peter King-KSK Standoff
The rockers over at Kissing Suzy Kobler would like to let you know that they are reasonable people. All they want out of life is to make a few humorous comments about sports, go home to their families and perhaps enjoy a Krispy Kreme. Or three. But even reasonable people can be pushed to the edge, a...
Maurice Clarett, Handling Himself Just Fine, Yep
We thought we might check in and see how our old friend Maurice Clarett is doing, now that he has fired his lawyers just two weeks before his trial. Well, he has some new lawyers, and they have exactly a fortnight to, you know, find out what the hell the case is about....
Look, They Have Fun, Difficult To Understand Stats In Football Too!
It was a happy day at Deadspin World Headquarters yesterday. Our copy of Pro Football Prospectus arrived....
Honestly, They Better Sign Isaiah Rider Soon
Admit it: You wouldn't be surprised, at this point, if Carson Palmer was nailed for sticking up a Dairy Queen somewhere just outside Blue Ash, would you?...
Daniel Snyder Appreciates Your Checkbook
We have always found the notion of Fan Appreciation Days amusing. Even though every single salary of every single player in every single sport is paid for exclusively by fans — whether it be tickets, merchandise, cable bills, whatever — big-time sports still feel the need to acknowledge the fans o...
Someone Could Really Use Matlock Around Right Now
We don't mean to imply that matters have gotten as bad as they possibly could get for Maurice Clarett just two weeks before his robbery trial ... but they're as bad as they could possibly get....
Great Tastes That Taste Great Together!
This photo, from Sports Illustrated's "College Football Summer Bonding" story, is rather obviously more gay than anything at the Gay Games in Chicago last week. This is how they bond: A slip-and-slide? Yeah ... in prison!...
AJ Hawk Is A Moral Man
As a followup to our AJ Hawk/Laura Quinn/shotgun wedding post from yesterday, we look to the Dayton Daily News, which gives us the full report on why AJ Hawk, rather than go through with the planned wedding in March, got married in his lawyer's office while wearing his Under Armour gear. (Seriousl...
A Look At The Sunday NBC Crew
Earlier today, new NBC broadcaster — it feels weird to type that; we haven't quite adjusted to the NFL being back on NBC — John Madden went to visit Oakland Raiders camp and hang out with his former player Art Shell, the new coach (again) of the Raiders. Since it's a slow, non-sexual-harassing day...
A.J Hawk's Shotgunnish Wedding?
If you were trying to book a wedding next March in Columbus, Ohio, over the last few months — not that anybody we know might have been — one of the primo spots in town was booked for a huge, lavish wedding between former Ohio State Buckeyes and current Green Bay Packers linebacker A.J. Hawk and La...
That's Quite An Offseason Transformation
Amazing find from The Wizard Of Odds: This appears to be a shot of Oklahoma offensive lineman George Robinson one year ago, and Oklahoma offensive lineman George Robinson from Sooners training camp today. We haven't been able to confirm it's the same guy — though we see no reason they'd change numbe...
How To Ruin Fantasy Football
It is just us, or is everyone pumping fantasy football a couple of weeks too early this year? Both Sports Illustrated and ESPN: The Magazine have already come out with their fantasy season previews — SI's included a cover photo of a guy who might not actually play for his team next year — even thoug...
Emmitt Smith Encourages You To Keep Looking At Him
We didn't actually watch it, and we don't have video or anything, but apparently the Miss Universe contest was on NBC last night. The only real interesting thing about beauty contests — other than, "Will one of them fall down? Please?" — is the celebrity judges, and last night's battle had some do...
A Bengal Gets The Taser
In their ongoing quest to become Blazers East, the Cincinnati Bengals have seen another member of their football team get arrested. And DT Matthias Askew has done it in grand style, somehow managing to get tasered after a parking violation. I am applauding politely....