Football Page 1578 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Why Steve Smith Will Always Be Second
A friend of ours yesterday was asking us why, in our unprofessional opinion, Chad Johnson receives so much love for his touchdown celebrations while the Panthers' Steve Smith, who scores more touchdowns, catches more passes and does his own fair share of creative celebrating, is barely noticed. We...
NFL Roundup: Bengal Breakthrough
• As Arizona Cardinals fans, we always wonder what the day will be like when, after years of torture, our team finally breaks through and shows they're serious about this whole winning business. It must have been that exciting for Bengals fans yesterday. Realize: A baby born the last time the Beng...
Athlete Run-Ins: Messing With Cade
Today's first athlete run-in story comes to us just in time for the big UCLA-USC game this weekend (which would have been 10 times cooler had UCLA not gotten killed by Arizona earlier this year) and involves everybody's favorite Bears draft bust, Cade McNown. The teller is Joe Lederer from Long Be...
Fe Is The Symbol For Iron. So You Know.
It's a pivotal week for Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson. No, no, not the AFC North-deciding game against the longtime nemesis Steelers at Heinz Field, silly. Johnson has officially raised the bar by proclaiming that he will perform the "best touchdown celebration ever" when he scores against Pi...
Portis Becomes Depressingly Self-Questioning
Ladies and gentleman, we present to you, after a one-week hiatus for Thanksgiving, Redskins running back Clinton Portis' newest creation: "Reverend Gonna Change," with those pretty crazy teeth and hair and the whole thing. On our scale, this ranks above "Dollah Bill" but behind "Dr. I-Don't-Know."...
Beleaguered "NFL Countdown" Closed Captioning Typists Get One-Week Reprieve
We were on a very slow-moving piece of public transportation and therefore are just hitting the late news: Michael Irvin has been suspended for one week following his arrest last Friday for having a "pipe" in his car. This is only two days after handsomely named ESPN exec Norby Williamson said "Ri...
Chesnning: Who's Captain, And Who's Tennille?
We totally should have known about this, but we give a firm salute to The Mighty MJD regardless for digging it up: Apparently, Peyton Manning and Kenny Chesney — "Chesnning," as we prefer to call 'em 'round these parts — have actually written a song together. Again, we can't believe we didn't know...
Orton: To Beard, Or Not To Beard
One would think Chicago Bears fans wouldn't want to mess with a seven-game win streak, but, then again, Bears quarterback Kyle Orton is looking pretty ridiculous this days....
Solich Party Photos!
In case you were wondering if Ohio coach Frank Solich's drunk driving arrest incident was an entirely isolated incident, here's some photos of the coach chilling at an Ohio bar with some students, posing, having some fun. Anyone, of course, should feel free to go out and have some drinks. But som...
Michael Irvin's Selective Memory
Yesterday, we were wondering when, exactly, ESPN found out about "analyst" Michael Irvin's arrest last week. Well, USA Today's intrepid Michael Hiestand talked to Bristol brass for today's paper, and it turns out, they found out Sunday, two days after the arrest ... but not from Irvin....
Yahoo's Fantasy Football Screwed Up. Don't Riot, People!
Most common email we've received this morning: What's up with Yahoo's fantasy football page? For whatever reason, the site is just showing the first names of every player and says they're all on a bye week. We're sure this will be fixed soon, but, honestly, nothing fires sports fans up more than ...
Jake Plummer, The New Cher
You had heard all about the (ultimately successful) petition to bring back Broncos quarterback Jake Plummer's moustache, and, if you're like us, you might have thought, hey, as long as he's giving mustache rides to cheerleaders, all is pretty much fine....
Things To Do In Phoenix When You're Drinking
Phoenix, Ariz. Home of The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals. Birthplace of Barry Bonds. Spot for an unusually high number of UFO Sightings....
Athlete Run-Ins: The Proper Way To Beep
Today s first athlete run-in story is more than 20 years old, which, frankly, makes it that much more fun and more believable. It involves old offensive lineman, current Fox broadcaster and - obviously, from that picture — avid hunter Bill Maas and his time at the University of Pittsburgh. We know...
More On The Mommie Dearest Sprinter
More info on the guy who ran on the field Sunday to spread his mother's ashes on Lincoln Financial Field, thanks to the suddenly sports-huge folks at The Smoking Gun. Turns out his name is Christopher Noteboom, also known as "Chip," and he cuts a mean mugshot....
For The Football Fan On The Go
From the Good Ole American Opportunism Department comes a rather awesome tale in Tampa: 10 people were arrested for operating a mobile strip club outside the Bears-Buccaneers game last week. The young capitalists actually promoted the "moving poles" with flyers and other promotional material....
A Day In The Life Of The "New" Michael Irvin
Well, it's the day after Michael Irvin's endless string of mea culpas following his arrest on Friday, and if Irvin's appearances had anything in common, it was their high proportion of "mea" to "culpa." Let's look back at Irvin's trip through the ESPN empire:...
Sleepless In Athens, Ohio
You wake up to the light in your eyes. Blinking, you try to adjust. The man with the light is very authoritative, and more than a little pissed. You must have been asleep for a while. Jesus, what time is it?...
Analyzing Irvin's Explanation, Matlock Style
All right, so we know we've harped on this quite a bit already, but we don't want to be all flippant and blog-like on you here: We have to delve into this Michael Irvin business a little bit more. You see, we want to dig down deep into Mr. Irvin's explanation of why there was a pipe in his car, ex...
Athlete Run-Ins: Marcus Allen's Active Evening
Today's final athlete run-in story is amazing for three main reasons:...