Football Page 1584 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Joey Porter Didn't Mean To Offend You; He Just Meant To Offend The Fag
Just because his team has been a disaster this year doesn't mean that Steelers linebacker/insano Joey Porter can't still stir some shit up. Yesterday, Porter apologized for calling Kellen Winslow a "fag."...

Dan Marino, The Early Broadcasting Years
We'd never seen this old video, of Dan Marino, back in the Len Dawson "Inside The NFL" days, making a verbal flub and kind of getting a little pissy about it. (When you've scared Len Dawson, you've scared the world.) It's from 2000, when Marino was first trying out as a broadcaster — and was, and is...

Marvin Lewis Is Beginning To Suspect That Something Is Amiss
This is an intervention. Marvin Lewis, your team is out of control. One out of every eight Bengals players is involved in the U.S. judicial system; either in jail, on parole or awaiting trial. We'd really like you to read these pamphlets. There are people who can help....

Reeeeeeeeematchhh!!!!!
It was inevitable, it was preordained, it was destined and placed here only to make us happy and the world a better place: Looks like Miami and Florida International, who have a bit of history, are set to butt heads, crutches and Hell 2 Da Naw once again, next year. It's October 6. It's the Orange...

Big Ben Keeps Teaching The Kids
It was only a matter of time: Ben Roethlisberger's motorcycle mishaps are inspiring minor league promotions....

Troy Smith, Terror In The Skies
Troy Smith might be the Heisman Trophy winner, but you gotta be careful with that trophy. Some people might think it's a potential terrorist device....

A Night For Loud Bears Fans And Silent Rams Ones
We spent a year and a half of our lives in St. Louis and went to two NFL games. The first was in 1998, when Tony Banks was the quarterback. You can imagine what happened then. The second time was in 1999, when Kurt Warner threw five touchdown passes on our 24th birthday to smash the then-vexing San ...

It's Rex Grossman's World, And We Are Just Satellites
We might make the argument that the most compelling figure in the NFL right now is Chicago Bears quarterback Rex Grossman. This is a guy who, at times — that is to say, during times that weren't in the last month-plus — has looked like a legitimate NFL quarterback, a guy who is a leader, as they say...

Prince Brings His Unique Style Of Pants To The Super Bowl
As anyone who watched the NFL on CBS yesterday now knows from the above commercial, your Super Bowl halftime show performer is Prince. We don’t understand this commercial in the slightest — because Prince, of course, has never once made an artistic decision based on advertisers or corporate interest...

Carson Palmer Throws Better Than He Listens
What do you get the multimillionaire quarterback who has everything? That's the question The Dayton Daily News asked Bengals quarterback Carson Palmer, and his answer is a reminder why we are not friends with athletes. Here's what Palmer said he wanted for the holidays (emphasis ours):...

Time To Display Some Confidence, People
We promised you a reminder when our little College Bowl Pants Party League officially went live, so here it is: You can join the Deadspin Pants Party Bowl League right here....

NFL Roundup: What The Hell Got Into The Saints?
News And Notes From Week 14 In The NFL ......

Sunday Night Football: Exploring The Parcells/Payton Relationship
Congratulations to NBC for managing to find two worthwhile teams in the NFC... they might be the only two. The 8-4 Saints travel to Dallas to take on the 8-4 Cowboys tonight, and there are storylines aplenty....

NFL Week Thirteen, Update #4
• Denver's not going to win, but Jay Cutler doesn't suck anymore. Whatever adjustments the Broncos made at halftime worked... not to the point of getting a win, of course, but Jay Cutler was much better after the break. That's the sort of thing that you like to hear if your team is 3-9, and looking ...

NFL Week Thirteen, Update #3
• It's 17-13, Cardinals, and I don't know if it's worth it for either of these teams to try to run the ball again. Shaun Alexander's carried 9 times for 26 yards, and Edgerrin James 11 times for 34 yards... this one might resemble Arena Football in the second half. Both Leinart and Hasselbeck have t...

NFL Week Thirteen, Update #2
• I don't think teams that have realistic hopes of winning the Super Bowl have a lot of days where they allow multiple 100+ yard rushers. David Garrard is 8-of-14... and the Jags are still beating up the Colts. Maurice Jones Drew has 166 yards and 2 TDs, while Fred Taylor has 131 and 1 TD. Even a fe...

NFL Week Thirteen, Update #1
• Artose Pinner is the best player in the NFL today. With Chester Taylor out with a rib problem, Pinner's stepped in and racked up 98 yards and 2 touchdowns. Brad Johnson also has a rushing touchdown, which isn't something I thought was in the Bad Johnson repertoire. He's also 10-of-15 for 124 yards...

USC Wants You To Remember The Alamo
Boy. Not only are tempers still flaring over current BCS issues, but there are still some 2005 grudges that seem to be on the front burner. USC blog Boy From Troi, for instance, couldn't help taking a shot at Texas when the latter's marketing dept. sent out an e-mail promoting the arrival of their...

New Defense Secretary A Closet Online Football Chatterer
Robert Gates, as those of you who lower yourselves to pay attention to the world outside of sports might know, was confirmed by the U.S. Senate as the new Secretary of Defense, replacing Donald Rumsfeld, the Marty Mornhinweg of foreign policy. Gates was most recently president of Texas A&M Universit...

Careful: That Punter Will Go For The Nuts
It has been a felonious year for backup punters. There was, of course, the famous leg-stabbing punter of Northern Colorado, and now we have Kyle Keown, punter for Vanderbilt who got himself in all kinds of trouble last week....