Football Page 1587 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Joey Harrington, Franchise Killer
News And Notes From Week 5 In The NFL ......

Night Falls On Death Valley
The handsome young gentleman above is the biggest freshman to hit Baton Rouge since Glen Davis. His name is Mike VI and tonight the two year-old will make his debut as LSU's official mascot. He's big, he's photogenic, all the women want to pet him, and all the men want to be him. He's Louisiana's an...

Pizza Hut Wants To Be Friends With Roy Williams
You might remember that Lions wide receiver Roy Williams hates to tip pizza delivery guys. Well, it turns out, the president of Pizza Hut has taken notice, and he's offering Williams a job....

Travis Henry Is One Stoned Strategist
Travis Henry has long since shown his particular skill at innovation, siring seven children with seven women, which is not easy to do even if you are trying. And now he's dealing with the positive drug test the NFL made him take by suing the NFL....

For Lou Holtz's Next Trick, He Will Need A Volunteer From The Audience
1:02 — Lou's got a newspaper out. Says the editorial page is for "people who can't think." Considering that Lou's ripping up a USA Today, we'll give him that one uncontested....

The Mascots Are Attacking The Cheerleaders
We're not sure what possessed Freddie Falcon to smash a birthday cake into the face of an Atlanta Falcons cheerleader … but we don't get the impression she was particularly happy about it....

Jamboroo, Week 5: I Wanna Talk Like A Motherf—kin' Quarterback
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

Real Backups Frame The Starters
Some backups on minor college football teams are crude in their attempts to earn the starting spot, resorting to stabbing the starters. Jacksonville University running back Cecil Coltrane was far more wily about it....

It's Quite The Big Event When Matt Leinart Shows Up
Some fans of The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals have had some concern that quarterback (for now) Kurt Warner has been spending too much time partaking in matters of social interaction, and not enough time studying film. And now we're starting to worry he's showing up at events just to get out...

Florida Fan Motto: Dignity, Always Dignity
You've probably seen this by now, but it can't pass without comment. This was not, in fact, Dan Shanoff. Good guess, though....

Leave Tony Joiner Alone!
Some are calling University of Florida safety Tony Joiner a thief this morning, but we call him hero. All he was trying to do was liberate his girlfriend's car from a towing yard — a noble gesture — and when someone witnessed the maneuver, Joiner even stopped and waited around for the cops. To me th...

Tom Brady Loves To Fly And It Shows
Tom Brady's offensive line is fierce in their devotion to him, and that includes, apparently, censoring the in-flight movies on flights to away games. No sooner had the movie begun on the Patriots' flight to Cincinnati last week than a moment during the opening credits proved a bit, um, awkward for ...

Leinart Has A Hard Time Handling His "Booze"
We were curious how Matt Leinart would handle his late-night Sauvignon Blanc confession to Michael Silver that he doesn't like being switched in and out of his starting job in Arizona. He took a different tack than we might have....

This Week In The SSW
For years — OK, a couple of days — Slate writer Robert Weintraub has been tinkering with a concept called The SSW, short for "The Sean Salisbury Wisdom," which tracks the consensus of the football punditocracy to ensure those triumphant declarations from Friday aren't flushed down the memory hole on...

Pity Poor John Bowie
As the Patriots cruised to yet another easy victory last night, with three more Tom Brady touchdowns and two more Randy Moss touchdowns, we take a look at the sad sack that is John Bowie....

Will The Patriots Score 38 Again?
This could be the last stand for the Bengals, early on anyway, and they're playing the absolute worst team you could play right now if you needed to make a last stand. Unfortunately, everyone's just going to talk about that CameraGate situation all night. Again....

The Terrapins Go Round And Round
Maryland's upset of Rutgers over the weekend was almost lost, in the wake of all the other ones. But the star was backup quarterback Chris Turner, who engineered the second-half comeback. And here's something cool: His dad was in RATT!...

Please, Please Be Quiet, Matt
We're far enough away from Arizona not to necessarily have our finger on the pulse of as many issues involving the Buzzsaw that we'd like, but we were heartened to see Matt Leinart totally comfortable with the job-sharing arrangement with Kurt Warner. He seemed happy, anyway, until Yahoo's Michael S...

Roger Goodell Doesn't Want You To Have Any Influence
One of the great things about going to an NFL game in person is that, perhaps more than any other sport, you really can affect the game. Not just through intimidation, but in a literal sense; if the other team can't hear the signals because you and 80,000 other maniacs are screaming your heads off, ...