Football Page 1591 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
No One Cares About Your Fantasy Team? WRONG, WHORE!
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
Looking Sharp, Philadelphia!
If you are watching the Eagles game this Sunday, there is nothing wrong with your television set. Donovan McNabb is still black, and those really are the Eagles uniforms....
Chris Henry Probably Isn't Felonious; Just Dumb
We know what suspended Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry was doing on Sunday; he was watching football with our own MJD. And now we know what he doing the rest of the week; accidentally stealing rental cars....
Welcome Back, Byron
Byron Leftwich, here showcasing his vaunted scrambling ability, has signed a two-year deal with the Atlanta Falcons. It seems like a logical destination, though we hope it doesn't affect Joey Harrington's performance having a guy breathing down his neck. You don't want to mess with a beautiful thing...
It's Open Season On Charlie Weis
The Charlie Weis / Notre Dame pile-on continues, gloriously. Some of it is justified, like criticism of how the school has handled the Demetrius Jones situation. (They're making him pay for school at Northern Illinois this year by not releasing him from his scholarship.) And some of it is really jus...
Mike Ditka, Socratic Orator
Yesterday, a group of retired athletes, along with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and NFLPA wingnut Gene Upshaw, testified before Congress about the lack of sufficient benefits for former NFL players. This is a noble cause — a lot of these guys can barely walk — but one that we suspect is not helpe...
And With One Torch, A Child's Dreams Are Lost
Nothing's funnier than hearing a child scream "Nooooooo!" This guy's gonna make a great quarterback's dad someday....
Carr Surely Has Lots To Contribute In This Friendship
We're still a little bewildered by the fact that Russell Crowe was on the sidelines for Michigan's win over Notre Dame on Saturday. We don't understand why he cares so much about American collegiate football, first off, but mostly ... this guy is really friends with Lloyd Carr?...
This Week In The SSW
For years — OK, a couple of days — Slate writer Robert Weintraub has been tinkering with a concept called The SSW, short for "The Sean Salisbury Wisdom," which tracks the consensus of the football punditocracy to ensure those triumphant declarations from Friday aren't flushed down the memory hole o...
Some Thirsty Folks In Central Florida
A key for fans at any college football game is to stay properly hydrated. It's not like they sell beer there or anything, which means you have to sneak in a flask, and when you're drinking that much absinthe, you're gonna need some water. Unfortunately, the new Central Florida stadium forgot about t...
Jon Kitna Was Sacked For Your Sins
You just knew that when God finally made his presence known to mankind, it would be to heal a journeyman NFL quarterback's minor head injury. So you Iraqi kids with missing limbs, you're just going to have to wait your turn. Jon Kitna's got to take care of business!...
Woe To The Eagles Fans (And Those Who Sit Near Them)
The pregame festivities might have been more exciting than the actual game, but, nevertheless, we're gonna do our best to keep our distance from Eagles fans for the next couple of days....
Your Chance To See Philly Fans In Prime Time
A night game in Philadelphia always seems, to us, like asking for trouble. Even if fans actually do go to work today, if they leave at 5 p.m., they're gonna have enough time to really mess some matters up. Or, you know, paint their bodies....
Rob Stone Knows How To Liven Up A Broadcast
All told, we find this rather clever — and, to be honest, we've been enjoying the Women's World Cup considerably more than we would enjoy a Troy-Oklahoma State game — and we pretty much enjoy everything Stone does. (We had no idea sideline reporters could be funny; isn't that against the rules?) Tho...
Leave Bill Belichick Alone!
This guy must have watched the Crazy Britney Fan video at least fifty times to achieve this degree of nuance, and for that I salute him. He also gets a couple points for the Brady jersey. Not sure about the touque, though. I managed not to laugh out loud until near the end, when he slipped in one fi...
Spending Sunday With ... Chris Henry?
The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy....
Here's Your Playoff System (Sort Of)
Dan Shanoff writes a weekly college football column for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think....
Roll Over And Die Like A Champion
We're not sure if we can contribute that much more to the pile-on that has become discussion of the 2007 Notre Dame Fighting Irish and coach Charlie Weis ... but we're gonna try....