Football Page 1597 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brady Quinn, Friend To The Gays, Or Just Idol?
In the newest issue of Interview magazine, Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn, handsome man of leisure, spreads 'em and smiles big in a big photo feature. Brady looks all playful and chiseled and Notre Dame-y, we guess. You might notice, when you look at the pictures, that Brady is shot rather, oh, ...
Would You Like Claws With That?
Todd Haley is the receivers coach for the Dallas Cowboys, which means, as is, his life is pretty much terrible. He also doesn't have much time to cook, since he apparently only takes his family out for McDonald's. That's bad enough, but even worse when they McSalad has a huge freaking rat in it....
Bored Cadets Remake "Rudy"
From the invaluable and irreplaceable Every Day Should Be Saturday comes this video, made by cadets at the Naval Academy to pump up their team — we guess — for the game against Notre Dame on Saturday. We're really not sure what we can do with this; should we, like, send them a Penthouse or something...
That's Nothing: We Once Got Busy In A Burger King Bathroom
Well, it's not exactly the greatest all-time bathroom stall story, but hey, it's Seattle, not Tampa: We'll take what we can get....
They May Take Our Lives, But They'll Never Take OUR PENIS!
Indiana police and Purdue campus security will be keeping a sharp eye on the student section at Ross Ade Stadium on Saturday. Why? This letter, received by the Purdue student newspaper on Tuesday, should explain things:...
How Freddie Spent His Weekend
In case you were wondering what former Philadelphia Eagles shitball Freddie Mitchell is up to ... he's out taunting fans at UCLA games from the stands! Hey, sure beats playing; we understand, Freddie....
Matt Leinart Produces Spawn
We'd like to formally welcome Cole Leinart, son of Buzzsaw quarterback Matt Leinart and former USC basketball player Brynn Cameron, to this rotating orb we call earth. Cole Cameron Leinart was born Tuesday night in California, and Leinart was there, which was nice, because he's not gonna be around f...
Ben Roethlisberger Falls To Pieces
We don't mean to imply that Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is suffering from an alarmingly high number of ailments right now, but we think we saw this sign on a telephone pole outside our current Mattoon dwelling earlier today....
Well, That Didn't Take Long At All
Not that you couldn't see this coming, but we'll confess, it's somewhat sooner than we necessarily expected....
He's Got Some Great Open-Field Moves
We did not see this over the weekend, but apparently, after California's win over Washington on Saturday, Golden Bears running back Marshawn Lynch got a hold of the motorized stretcher cart and went to town. This is yet another reason, as we all know, we need the bullpen car back....
We Have Ways Of Making Your Mascot Talk
Oh, those crazy Ivy Leaguers. What won't they do in the name of ribald gridiron revelry?...
That'll Be All, Bill
You know, it's funny: The Dallas Cowboys' season appears to be disintegrating, and even though Terrell Owens had to go so far as to try to kill himself to derail the team, he seems to be the least of their problems....
No Steroids In The NFL, Nope: That's Baseball's Problem
If you will, a case study:...
Donovan McNabb Has A Weak Constitution
Amazingly, Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb did this before Buccaneers kicker Matt Bryant kicked a 62-yard field goal — with room to spare! — to beat his team yesterday....
Everybody's Getting Naked On The Internet These Days
Taking a cue from the success of Redskins.com last season, the Philadelphia Eagles have been streaming postgame interviews with their players on their official Web site. Considering yesterday's difficult loss, you can find plenty of people with plenty to talk about....
NFL Roundup: Chiefs Party On The Field This Time
News And Notes From Week 7 Of The NFL...
The Mike Tyson Of College Football
That was Miami Hurricane player Anthony Reddick apologizing for his helmet-swinging role in the brawl against FIU. I'm pretty sure someone wrote that for him... and they must've just scribbled it really quickly and illegibly, because he seemed to be struggling with it. For some reason....
NFL Week Seven, Update #3
• Redskins 14, Colts 13. Not only did the people of Indianapolis have to deal with the fright of seeing Peyton Manning's body's body get bent in the opposite direction that Kenny Chesney usually bends it, but the Colts are losing to the underdog Redskins. Manning's fine, I guess it's not that big of...
NFL Week Seven, Update #2
• Buccaneers 23, Eagles 21. Tampa Bay kicker Matt Bryant has a leg like Tom Jones's dick. Bryant hit a 62-yarder with no time left on the clock to give the Buccaneers the win, and actually put them on a little bit of a winning streak. Donovan McNabb threw for over 300 yards and three touchdowns, b...
NFL Week Seven, Update #1
• Panthers 14, Bengals 7. Three touchdowns in the game, but none of them belong to Steve Smith or Chad Johnson. For Carolina, it's been the electric Nick Goings and the human highlight reel, Kris Mangum. For the Bengals, it's someone named "R. Kelly," and I think hs first name is Reggie, but I'm not...