Football Page 1606 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Like The Way He Talks And He Likes The Way We Talk, Mmm Hmm
With the news yesterday that running back Quincy Wilson has become the 10th Cincinnati Bengal to be arrested in the past 14 months, we now need the measured, no-nonsense sports commentary of Kige Ramsey more than ever. If you're unfamiliar, just think of him as the Jason Whitlock of Youtube ... if, ...
R.I.P., Terry Hoeppner
Indiana football coach Terry Hoeppner, who had been recovering from surgery for a brain tumor, died this morning at a Bloomington area hospital. The Hoosiers had announced just last week that Hoeppner would not be able to coach this year; assistant Bill Lynch will coach in his place. Hoeppner was 59...
You Know, You Think You Know A Guy
One would think that, after all that's gone down with him over the past year or so, Pac Man Jones would steer clear of the following things:...
John Stockton Thinks This Is Excessive
Brandon Lloyd (I think that's who it is) appears to be impressed with the look. I can't tell if that look on his face says, "Man, you are crazy," or "I sho' wouldn't mind hittin' that from the back."...
What, Like House Of Pain Was Gonna Do Anything?
Seems like there are a lot of scuffles outside of nightclubs these days. And more and more, it seems like these scuffles are accompanied by someone pulling out a gun and shooting it into the air ... because nothing defuses a situation better than spontaneous gunfire....
We Re-Introduce You To The Comedy Stylings Of Sinbad
Last night, in Indianapolis, the Colts were awarded their Super Bowl rings at some sort of soiree. Some sports marketing guy was there and filed a full report. It will come as little surprise to you that the Comedy Ringleader of the evening was ... Sinbad....
Behind The Scenes Of The Eastern Motors Magic
You might remember those famous Eastern Motors advertisements in Washington D.C., in which various area athletes remind residents that "their job is their credit," through the majesty of song. Well, DC Sports Bog, which is the future, was on set for the taping of the newest commercial, and it's proo...
A Requiem For Bad Moon's Money
For months now, we've been trying to figure out why, during our exhibition football game against Andre Rison and Kordell Stewart, Rison felt obliged to hug us. We felt we had competed hard, but not quite worthy of a hug. We thought maybe Andre was just lonely. Maybe he missed Left Eye?...
Chris Henry Is Just Making Up Offenses Now
OK. Are you sitting down? We feel like you should be sitting down. It's probably for the best if you're sitting down. Take a deep breath. Have a brandy. You ready? Cool. Here goes....
It's Been One Year Since Big Ben's Curbing
You know, time really flies when you've banged your head against pavement at 50 miles per hour. It's like you can't get perspective on matters, or something. Yes, folks, it has been exactly one year today since Ben Roethlisberger's motorcycle accident. It's a day Steelers fans will always remember,...
Jeff Reed Is The Most Fun Kicker Of All Time
You might remember our little Christmas Eve present for you last year: Pittsburgh Steelers kicker Jeff Reed taking a picture of him nearly nude in the mirror....
Is Gene Upshaw Gonna Have To Choke A Bitch?
You might remember, last August, when Bryant Gumbel — that notorious agent of social change — blasted NFL union head Gene Upshaw for being the "personal pet" of the NFL, and that he was kept "on a leash."...
This Man Knows What Athletics Really Mean
The Fanhouse discussed this yesterday, but we wouldn't help but play with it some more: There's a Massachusetts politician named Kevin Thompson who is kind of losing his mind about Tom Brady. Actually, he has a problem with athletes in general....
Tank Johnson Would Like To Be The Face Of The NFL
In case you were wondering, being involved in a shooting incident in Vegas — though you didn't fire the weapon and all you really did was hang out with shady people and try to get your money back after a rather ill-advised "making it rain" incident — will earn you a one-year suspension from the NFL....
Eric Mangini Enjoys Vesuvio's
We like Jets coach Eric Mangini, even if he's way too young to be that football-coach tubby. But we — as obsessed "Sopranos" fans since the very first episode — hope he understands the honor bestowed upon him. He cameoed last night on what was one of the most intense, breathtaking episodes of the mo...
Jack Trudeau Likes Alcohol ... Policemen, Not So Much
It's that time of year. The kids are graduating from high school, and former Colts quarterbacks are getting them shitfaced. It seems like just yesterday, it was me donning the cap and gown, getting my diploma, and Jeff George threatening to beat my ass if I couldn't do a keg stand for 45 seconds....
Evander Holyfield Has Much Advice For Sage Rosenfels
"OK, now everybody listen up. The key to being a successful Houston Texan is to ... wait ... is HGH legal in football? No? Oh, well, don't worry: Take it anyway, you'll sit out four games, no one will care, it's the NFL. Anyway, what was I saying? Dancing. Yes. Dancing is ... you gotta ..."...
The Entry Ramps To The Stadium Will Be Full Of Sleeping People
It is important that, in life, one have humanitarian instincts. But it is far more important that one has a place to show and pick up stimulants at 3:30 in the morning. Yep: There's a bowl game named after a truck stop. It's the Roady's Humanitarian Bowl. ...
Mark Cuban Has A Thing For Girdle Pads
Finally, a pro football league with second-rate players which plays on Friday nights in places like San Antonio and Sacramento. It's like someone has been recording our dreams!...
Michael Vick Has Bad Luck With Pets
Michael Vick, you bastard! You moved the headstones, but you didn't move the graves! You didn't move the graves!...