Football Page 1623 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
USC Still Can't Believe It Lost Either
Boi From Troy has dug up an interesting little nugget: The schedule poster for the upcoming Southern California football team contains the word "ENCORE!" as its theme....
What Is A Lap Dance? You Know, In An Existential Sense, Aren't We All Just God's Lap Dancers?
So the Vikings sex boat trial in Minnesota is going on, like, right now. Well, kind of; former quarterback Daunte Culpepper and fullback Moe Williams are trying to talk a judge into dismissing charges against them. The two players were charged, pretty much, with receiving lap dances, which has spu...
New Mexico's Woes Continue
Bad Jocks has been all over this story, and they've got their confirmation from the NFL Draft Almanac: Apparently Marcus "New Mexico" Vick scored a lowly 11 on his Wonderlic test at the NFL combine last month. That's slightly better than Vince Young's badly graded score, but somehow still lower th...
Get Your T.O. Slice Of Funk
The official Terrell Owens Web site has been playing an odd game of hide-and-seek with its T.O. Cowboys rap. One minute it's on the site, the next minute it's off. We don't know what its deal is....
One Last Draft Handshake For Tagliabue
As had been expected, NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue announced his retirement this afternoon, effective this July. Tagliabue has been on the job for 15 years, and, while not exactly having the mob boss persona of David Stern or the dopey, semi-clueless car salesman vibe of Bud Selig, has still be...
They Grow Their Quarterbacks Big Down There
We know that everyone is excited about Vanderbilt quarterback Jay Cutler, whom some project being drafted ahead of Texas' Vince Young and possibly even USC's Matt Leinart....
Terrell Owens Can Rap Quicker Than You
In recent months, we have done everything in our power to institute a moratorium on Terrell Owens-related news, if just so that, if we were hit by a bus tomorrow, we would be able to talk to our maker with our pure heart, free of egregious sin....
Culpepper To Spend Plenty Of Time Near Water
The Orlando Sentinel and FOX Sports are reporting that the trade is official: Daunte Culpepper has been traded to the Miami Dolphins....
It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday
It is tragic when the grandest of epics end with a whimper, but, alas, when we are blessed with the sublime, it is best not to madden one's self with laments of an ultimately unsatisfying climax....
Even Comic Strip Characters Have Had Enough
You know that weird Gil Thorp comic strip, the one that appears to constantly be following a game that never begins or ends and always leaves you anticipating a punch line that doesn't come?...
The NFL Network's Brilliant Idea
On the list of entertaining moves by a network, The NFL Network's decision to pursue Ryan Leaf as an analyst for this year's NFL Draft is a rather brilliant one. We love this idea; bringing back old athletes to provide commentary at the site of their biggest failures/embarrassments....
The Dreary Life Of An NFL Prospect
We find the process of scouting for the NFL Draft completely creepy, just a bunch of balding white men with stopwatches, eyeing 21-year-olds in their underwear....
Do Not Taunt Old Southern Men
There's little more fun than a good, old-fashioned Old Guy Beats The Crap Out Of Younger Guy story, you know?...
A Post About Nothing
Absolutely nothing. That's the news coming out of the NFL labor talks. They still don't like each other. They still can't agree. There's still not a lot of hope. I still don't care....
The New New Mexico?
Perhaps the quarterback position at Virginia Tech is merely cursed....
NFL Is (Somewhat) Less Homophobic Than You Think
Remember that scene in Brokeback Mountain, when Jack Twist is having Thanksgiving dinner with his wife's family and they get in a big fight about being manly enough to watch football? (What? You haven't seen Brokeback? Well, it's like the Colts' season, except shorter and with 13 percent fewer au...
Cut The Black Wire
Last night, the Pittsburgh Steelers all gathered at a Loews theater in West Homestead, Penn., to watch on the big screen the DVD of their championship season. Apparently, an Eagles fan found out about it; the whole thing was cancelled after a phoned-in bomb scare....
The Sex Boat Story Will Never Go Away. Awesome.
Is it possible to ever get tired of the Vikings sex boat story? We think it's not. We're pretty sure, actually....
Blah Blah Labor Issues Blah Blah
Sigh. Honestly, we hate doing posts about labor woes. It's not that they're not important; they obviously are. It's just that, as fans, watching prolonged labor strife is like being in the room when everyone's talking about you like you're not there. All the issues being discussed are up for debat...
Wolverines Get In On The Rap Game
In the tradition of Miami's Seventh Floor Crew, three Michigan football players — Jerome Jackson, Tyrone Jordan and Landon Smith — have recorded a supposedly derogatory song called "Measly Penny", in which the players take turns denigrating a woman who apparently has caused them collective pain. (...