Football Page 758 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Report: Vikings Lineman Everson Griffen Threatened To Shoot Someone At Minneapolis Hotel
Everson Griffen missed Sunday’s surprising 27–6 home loss to the Buffalo Bills due to “a personal matter,” according to Vikings head coach Mike Zimmer. According to a report from ABC 5 Eyewitness News, the personal matter was a strange episode at the team’s Minneapolis team hotel Saturday that invol...
Ryan Fitzpatrick Is Finally Ryan Fitzpatricking
Oh boy. Last weekend Ryan Fitzpatrick was strutting around like a Times Square Conor McGregor impersonator, looking very secure as Tampa Bay’s starting quarterback after consecutive 400-yard performances. It’s now halftime of his team’s Monday Night Football matchup with the Pittsburgh Steelers, and...
Vance McDonald Buries Chris Conte With Devastating Stiff-Arm
The longest walk back to the sideline of Chris Conte’s life had to come after this 75-yard Vance McDonald touchdown catch-and-run. Bring in the Eternal Sunshine machine to wipe this moment out of Conte’s memory forever:...
The Giants Finally Used Saquon Barkley The Right Way
The Giants beat the Texans for their first win on Sunday, and they may have even saved their season. Aw, hell. This one calls for a few exclamation points. The offense looked like it wasn’t even trying to get Eli Manning killed! Manning actually played pretty well! Odell Beckham Jr. looked like Odel...
For One Quarter, Old Dominion's Jeremy Cox Was The Most Exciting Back In College Football<em></em>
Old Dominion shocked Virginia Tech on Saturday, taking down the 13th-ranked team in the nation (per AP) with a vicious 28-point fourth quarter that left every Hokies fan stunned. It was beautiful, and the fact that the Monarchs got to pull the rug out from a top-15 team on their home turf only made ...
Nebraska Found Rock Bottom Against Michigan, Then Kept Digging
In Nebraska head coach Scott Frost’s third game leading his alma mater, the Huskers didn’t just get “whipped,” as Frost put it after the game. No, what happened to Nebraska was several levels of sadistic torture below that, and as of now, despite what Frost or the Huskers athletic director or Larry ...
Can Matt Patricia Break The Belichick Curse?<em></em>
Many of the modern NFL’s legendary coaches have impressive coaching trees. Hefty branches that bore much fruit. Assistants that became successful head coaches and who then mentored younger coaches to do the same. Bill Walsh coached Dennis Green, who coached Brian Billick, who coached Jack Del Rio, w...
Real Subtle, Joe Flacco
Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco sucks real bad, and moreover has been just sort of broadly shitty for several years, just a total glassy-eyed doofus with a giraffe neck and a knack for cartoonishly ill-timed mistakes. He’s also old. Taken together, these are the reasons why the Ravens select...
The NFL's Stupid New Roughing The Passer Rule Cost William Hayes His Season
Dolphins defensive lineman William Hayes hurt himself while sacking Derek Carr yesterday, and today two worst-case scenarios were confirmed. Not only did Hayes tear his ACL on the play, he did so while trying to follow the NFL’s asinine new rule that prevents defenders from landing on the quarterbac...
Khalil Mack Is Pass-Rushing Perfection
Khalil Mack’s first three games as a member of the Chicago Bears have gone like this: five tackles, two sacks, one forced fumble; five tackles, one sack, one forced fumble; three tackles, one sack, one forced fumble. He’s in the zone right now....
Jaguars Junction: Week Three
Blaine Gabbert. Blake Bortles. Bart Orglesby. Benet Brahmstocker-Quivit. This is: The Big Boys, of Football (NFL). ...
The Patriots Are Slllooooowwwww
Nobody is allowed to say that this is finally the season when it all comes apart for the New England Patriots until they have been mathematically eliminated from playoff contention. Nobody is allowed to do it! But what we can do, a few hours after the Pats were handily beaten on national TV by a Lio...
Cosmo The Cougar's Head Goes Flying
Rough couple weeks for mascots. Last Saturday, Chip the Buffalo destroyed his dick and balls with a T-shirt cannon. This weekend, BYU’s Cosmo the Cougar was brutally beheaded on a tumbling pass. Warning: If you have a child who doesn’t realize there are humans inside mascot suits—you’ve raised a ver...
Listen To Earl Thomas
An NFL team wants to use a player up. Wants to squeeze every last bit of effectiveness and of health out of him, while he’s still under contract, and then discard him. It’s the nature of a salary-capped league where most players’ careers are over before they turn 30, a brutally cold calculation that...
Yep, Patrick Mahomes Is Still Ridiculous<em></em>
Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes continued his insanely impressive hot streak to begin the season, as he led the Chiefs to a 3-0 record and a 38-27 defeat of the 49ers on Sunday thanks to 314 yards passing and 3 TDs with no picks. Almost all of the Mahomes fireworks came in a first half in which the Chiefs...
The Colts Don't Trust Andrew Luck To Throw A Hail Mary
For the majority of this past offseason, the narrative surrounding Andrew Luck and his long-injured shoulder was that the Colts quarterback was close to returning to his superstar form—even though the benchmark for the full recovery began when he threw a football in late July. However, Frank Reich s...
Jimmy Garoppolo Leaves Game With Reported "Serious Knee Injury"<em></em>
While trying to lead a 49ers comeback against the Chiefs, San Francisco QB Jimmy Garoppolo chose to absorb a big hit from Steven Nelson at the end of a scramble, rather than just run out of bounds. It was a poor choice, and whether it was anything about the hit itself or simply the awkward plant by ...
Clay Matthews Was Flagged For Another Weak Roughing The Passer Call
Stop me if you’ve heard this before: Clay Matthews was flagged for a bullshit roughing the passer call....
The Vikings Are Making Josh Allen Look Like Superman
Rookie QB Josh Allen and the Bills are just inexplicably and completely picking apart the Minnesota Vikings in their game so far this afternoon, jumping out to a 24-0 lead after just one quarter and change. ...
Report: Jon Gruden Is Dividing The Raiders Organization With His Inner Circle Of Scouts
Any breaking news about Jon Gruden must feel like whenever a notification block pops up in the middle of the screen while playing The Oregon Trail to Raiders fans, it’s almost never a good sign. The latest report about Gruden indicates that he is taking a POTUS-like approach to scouting talent by on...