Football Page 889 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ted Cruz Calls Colin Kaepernick A Spoiled Knucklehead
Ted Cruz, whose face is all moist surfaces and uncanny angles and about a third too much skin, will be remembered as the cuck who said to the American people, “Please elect the man who called my wife ugly and implied that my father murdered JFK as the next president of the United States. I’m a puddi...
Aaron Rodgers Goes As "The Dude" For Halloween
Aaron Rodgers helped the Packers close out a home stand with a 26-10 win over the Bears tonight, and afterward showed up for the presser in his finest from the wardrobe of The Big Lebowski....
BYU Commits Crime Against Football With Incredibly Futile Fake Punt
Almost had it fellas!...
King County Sheriff Owns NFL, Calls NFL Investigator A "Yokel" And A "Goofus"
The NFL announced this afternoon that they’d be reopening their investigation regarding Josh Brown’s 2015 domestic violence arrest. In their announcement, the NFL blamed the King County (Wash.) Sheriff’s Office for being uncooperative with “repeated” requests for records and information. As they tol...
Giants Sign Kicker Robbie Gould
Josh Brown will not travel with the New York Giants to London for their game against the Rams this weekend. In a statement released today, the team said that they “remain supportive of Josh and his efforts,” but would “revisit” his case after the London game. His contract situation is unclear at the...
Antonio Cromartie's Wife Says He Was Cut Over National Anthem Protest
The Indianapolis Colts released veteran cornerback Antonio Cromartie on October 4, two days after the team lost to the Jaguars in London. During the national anthem, Cromartie took a knee and raised his fist, just as he did the week before when the Colts played the Chargers. After Colts owner Jim Ir...
The NFL Always Had Access To The Josh Brown Documents<em></em>
Even before yesterday’s release of documents by the sheriff’s office in King County, Wash. in which New York Giants kicker Josh Brown admits in his own words that he abused his then-wife Molly, there was very similar evidence in his divorce file—a publicly available document that anyone could get. A...
Report: Russell Wilson Has Fucked, Plans To Fuck Again
Russell Wilson and Ciara got married three months ago. The happy couple recently said that they had done it (sex) to each other, and per a report from E!, they might very well be expecting a child. ...
Josh Norman Challenges The NFL To Flag His Beer-Themed Celebration<em></em>
Washington cornerback Josh Norman caught a flag in Week 4's game against the Browns for pretending to shoot a bow and arrow. Since the NFL no longer seems to be okay with bows and arrows—real or imaginary—Norman says he might utilize a new celebration involving beer. Surely, the league wouldn’t have...
The Steelers Want Ndamukong Suh Punished For Kicking Ben Roethlisberger<em></em> In The Knee
According to various sources, the Pittsburgh Steelers have asked the NFL league office to review a play from last Sunday’s game against the Miami Dolphins in which Ndamukong Suh appears to kick Ben Roethlisberger in the right knee....
Stephen Hauschka Has Been Letting People Spell His Name Wrong This Whole Time
For years, every football fan in America has been living in a world in which the Seattle Seahawks employ a kicker named Steven Hauschka. Today, we all discovered that Hauschka has been letting all of us live in a false reality....
What's Wrong With The Jets, Besides Everything?
Six games in, let’s check in on the 2016 New York Jets:...
Richie Incognito Is Still Richie Incognito<em></em>
The Bills are playing the Dolphins this weekend, which means that offensive lineman Richie Incognito faces his former team for the third time since he was suspended for the final eight games of the 2013 season after teammate Jonathan Martin accused him and other players of bullying. Incognito had a ...
Report: Eddie Lacy Fat Again
Packers running back Eddie Lacy’s weight is under constant scrutiny by both his coaches and the media, and head coach Mike McCarthy has publicly pleaded with Lacy to lose weight in the past. Things were looking good this offseason when Lacy reported to camp in shape, but he seems to have backslid th...
Ex-Virginia Football Player Alleges Culture Of Hazing, Including Naked Wrestling Matches And Staged Fights
In a lawsuit filed in United States District Court last Friday, ex-Virginia receiver Aidan Howard alleges that the football program promoted a culture of “bullying, abuse, harassment, and discrimination,” one which forced him into a staged fight with another player that left him with a broken eye so...
Tom Brady Probably Gets Owned By Donald Trump When They Golf
Tom Brady has been pretty damn cagey about his association with Donald Trump since the sentient Cheeto ramped up his soon-to-be-failed attempt to become the president of the United States....
The NFL And NFLPA Remind Us How Meaningless The League's Brain Damage Protocols Are
The NFL and NFLPA have released a joint statement explaining why Cam Newton wasn’t removed from the game to be evaluated for symptoms of brain damage after taking multiple blows to the head in Week 1. What the statement says, essentially, is that the things that millions of people saw happen to Newt...
Make Pass Interference Calls Reviewable
I hate to pile on the NFL here, but when the story of the season is that fewer people are watching football, it’s worth drawing attention to one of the sport’s most irritating features: the terrible pass interference call....
NFL Owners I'd Party With, Ranked
Pro Football Talk described Colts owner Jim Irsay as a guy who “gives off a distinctly counter-culture vibe,” which is a weird thing to write but also got us thinking about which NFL owners would be the most fun to party with. Here is a list....