Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Illustration for article titled For Just $400,000, You Can Buy This Portland-Based Co-Ed Kickball Team

From Deadspin's Portland Bureau—tipster Scott—comes a rec league kickball story. Sorry. Keep in mind this Craigslist ad was originally all in caps:

I know it's strange right? A kickball team for sale. How could you benefit from buying a mid-core level kickball team that plays at unthank park (510 n. shaver pdx)? In many ways. If you are a kickball fanatic (aka a kickball slut), you can build the team in a way that suits you. You can make roster changes and additions, you can make yourself a "captain only" and not play. You can play full time and have a co-captain run the team while you avoid confrontation. you could make your team do warm-ups even if they don't like it. There are a ton of things that a captain/owner of a kickball team/franchise can do, it's practically witout limit. All you really have to do is follow the rules provided by a league that ref's and oversee's all the teams, their conduct, and their scheduling. Easy as pie!

What do i have to offer in this transaction? Not much. I have a print out of the rules and regulations which I downloaded from my p.c. one day. I have a blue bucket that carries our team banner, and some shoes, a magnetic clip-board w/ dry erase for roster line-ups, and I can throw in a couple of kickballs for an additional $15.00 a piece. In addition to all of this I can provide a managerial position overseeing the start-up of your ownership, if nessecary. You are dealing with a professional, and I only commit myself and my product 1500% each time. That's a shit ton of a percentage. Really high. Almost unbelievable, I know, but its not.

The team I am selling has a storied past which I was only a co-creator of. I have not discussed this sale with any of the players or the other co-creator of our team, so if you could keep this on the d.l. (dirty low) then we won't create any controversy. Thats why i have a co-captain.


And here I thought those types could spell and write well. Maybe it's just the glasses.

Anyway, they have 313 Facebook friends. That's social media sway. Paul Allen's gonna want a piece of that.


Dirty Birds Kickball [Facebook]

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