This is going to be hard to take for many, but we’re gonna have to give Atlanta and Philly folks a break.
Retire the “28-3” memes. STFU about “they booed Santa” (FYI, Santa had it coming.)
Falcons and Eagles fans saved the republic from utter ruination under the boot of Donald J. Trump, who early on in the count held a 300,000-vote lead in traditionally redder-than-Sriracha Georgia and an approximately 700,000-vote lead in purple Pennsylvania.
But Fulton County came through. Philadelphia came through. Poetically, it was John Lewis’ former home, Clayton County, that put Georgia into the blue in the wee hours of Friday morning. And it was the Black voters of Fulton County who gave Biden the 80-20 margins that made it a race to begin with, just as it was the largely Black voters of Philadelphia that put Pa. into the blue on Friday and finally delivered the stake through the heart of Dracula, signaling an end to this monstrous regime.
Trump falsely accused Georgia elections of being run by corrupt Democrats in the most dishonest speech in U.S. history (Trump also likely holds the record for Nos. 2-500). But it was actually Stacey Abrams who had an election stolen from her in the 2018 Georgia gubernatorial race. Abrams is the real hero of the day, as she got her revenge by registering 800,000 new voters.
Abrams’ next job: Anything she wants, right President-elect Biden?
The Peach State flipping has wider implications.
Abrams helped turn Georgia into a swing state, making the U.S. Senate winnable for Democrats, as two seats are set to go to a January 5 runoff. The late-reporting results from Black and Democratic strongholds also put incumbent Republican Sen. David Perdue below the 50 percent +1 threshold to avoid a runoff against challenger Jon Ossoff. In the other race, Satan’s handmaiden, aka Kelly Loeffler, the Atlanta Dream owner who inspired a movement by WNBA players to try to vote her out, will face Democratic challenger Rev. Raphael Warnock.
Thanks Atlanta fans for making this all possible. No one can call you chokers again. Thanks Philly fans for landing the knockout blow a la Rocky.
Cheesesteaks at Jim’s and wings at Magic City are on us.