Giants Beat Writer Files World's Best, Laziest Column Amid Team's Massive Slump

The San Francisco Giants have been slumping for most of the second half of the season, going 17-31 since the All-Star break and tumbling well behind the Los Angeles Dodgers in the NL West. Nobody connected to the team seems very happy; the Giants called a hitters-only meeting, Bruce Bochy is getting every lineup choice questioned, their hitting coach won’t talk to the press, and beat writers are starting to fray.

Which brings us to the Bay Area News Group’s Andrew Baggarly, a solid beat reporter who filed a piece of high art in place of a recap of the Giants’ hitters’ meeting yesterday.

After listing the Giants lineup, Baggarly came clean:

That’s it, really. Not much more to say. But the SEO wizards tell us that Google likes articles that are more than 41 words. So here’s a little more:

The Giants held a hitter’s meeting prior to Tuesday’s game. I wasn’t invited, obviously. So I couldn’t tell you whether it was fiery or involved audio-visual equipment or any chickens lost their lives.

He then dips in and out of cogent baseball analysis before offering a Bruce Bochy press conference quote, prefaced with:

Anyway, that’s about it. To prove I didn’t write this from my hotel, here’s a quote from Bruce Bochy:

This is my favorite baseblog of the season. The Giants are up right now on the Rockies. If it holds, we won’t get anything else like this, so read it all and savor it.

[San Jose Mercury News]

h/t Byron Tau