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My name is Justin Everest Skeets III โ€” street name: J.E. Skeets โ€” and rumor has it I'll be your threed thurd third substitute teacher this post-turkey week. (I'm sorry.)

In fact, let's make one thing perfectly clear before I'm ripped to shreds in the very same comment section I used to call home pre-avatars and women: I'm a horrible fucking writer. No, seriously, I am. I'm dreadful; with punctuation; my grammar is definitely not the bestest, and I rely so much on to try and articulate my thoughts that it's goddamn scary, and terrifying, and ghastly, and macabre... well, you get the idea. So, yeah, I apologize in advance for today's piss-poor sentence structure, and for spelling too many words with an extra "u" in them. Eh.

With that said, some of you may know me as co-host of the world's greatest podcast, The Basketball Jones. Along with Tas and JD, I help record five shows a week, which the New York Times may or may not call "raunchy." I also pretend to write at the NBA Fanhouse and I'm quite the lil' capper.

Speaking of handicaps gambling, what's the over/under until I forget to close a tag and italicize the whole fucking Internet? 10:00am? 11? Man, this should be fun.