Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Sports Illustrated's Peter King, a novelty badger-faced keychain-fob that recites snippets of Roger Goodell's autobiography when you shake it, is doing his annual tour of the NFL's training camps. He's in Cincinnati today, and took a break from uncritically transcribing front-office boilerplate to grab a snack. A bad snack. A bad, bad-tasting poo-snack. And he tweeted about it!

Peter King: "Oh, I have missed you so, Cincinnati." Proctologist, cardiologist, people who like things that are good wince.


I think about what I could have done differently. Peter King and I weren't face-to-face when he ordered that indigestible cheese-heaped garbage pile, and maybe if we were I'd have cautioned him about it; I'm not sure. I figured he'd have ordered it somewhere at some point anyway, so I'll make fun of him for it.

Plus, if that thing disintegrates Peter King's colon and he drops all of his internal organs into the john along with it, who'll call it a loss?

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