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Happy America Now Officially Insane, Possibly Jingoist About Soccer (For The Time Being)

Most of our country still hasn't come down from the afternoon spazgasm caused by the dainty foot of Landon Donovan, but remember, bandwagoners, there are people out there ready to scold your joy. Like The Nation.

It reminded why these kinds of international competitions can leave me with such a sour taste. Why can't we just recognize that Algeria played gallantly against a better US team, which won by the skin of its teeth? Why must an insanely miraculous athletic victory also be a reinforcer of cultural supremacy? It's yet another reminder why it is so important for progressives to not just thrill to the joys of sport but be conversant in the politics of sport


There is nothing offensively false about this but, come on, most of us still couldn't find Algeria on a map. Most of us don't even own maps, except the ones provided by Google on the iPhone, and as I type in how long it would take to walk to Ghardaia from Brooklyn, it says that "walking directions could not be found between these locations." That means it's far.

As a country, we're just hard-wired to find joy in dumb things: fireworks, parades, talking animals, videos of people falling down. The USMNT's run is, for most of us non-futbol devotees, just a fun reason to sit in a bar with hundreds of people on a Wednesday afternoon and mindlessly celebrate with impromptu sing-a-longs. Or sit at home, wearing a stars and stripes bandana, scream at the television and awkwardly high-five with our mothers:

Either one is fine. But the deeper the American boys go in this World Cup, the celebrations will become more eventful. In fact, if the USMNT ends up winning this thing, we should all band together and tip over the White House and loot the UN Building. For joy.


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