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Here's The Latest Grown-Up To Steal A Baseball From A Sad Child

We already know that the worst people ever live in Texas. But Miami has its share of oblivious adults too! Like this guy. Norichika Aoki flipped a ball into the stands, presumably on a vector toward of the two precious youngsters leaning over the dugout, their little hearts riding on that priceless little sphere. Polo dude boxes her out, she pouts, he celebrates. Scene.


I'm not insensitive to the dynamics here. Strict natural selection dictates that the stronger, faster man, with his superior hand-eye coordination, has every right to that ball if he can procure it fairly. He paid just as much for those seats as the freeloader child's parents did. Doesn't matter how cute the kid is—if you can get the ball, and live with the derision of the internet, more power to you.

But it seems we must once again refer to the handy "Do you deserve that ball" flowchart. Let's follow along. Polo guy caught the ball himself. On a toss. And is not between the ages of two and 13. Ooh, so sorry. Of course, "deserving" and "getting" a ball are two very different things.


There's a coda to this story, and it's maybe a happy one. Little Emily ended up going home with two balls of her own, courtesy of some sympathetic stadium personnel. The flow chart doesn't address this, but two balls just for being a sad child might be overkill. And if you're this guy? Well, he probably doesn't have a lot of sympathy for you, little girl.


Via Big League Stew

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