How Pam Ward Can Get You Hammered

Not to slurp all over my cable provider, but Buckeye Cable is cool enough to not only provide the Big Ten Network, they actually air TWO games at once. So that's why I'm watching Minnesota-North Dakota State. It's tied 14-14, and apart from the sadness surrounding the fact that these two teams are on the same talent level, this is actually a very good game. Also, keep an eye out for Vanderbilt, who's taken a quick 10-0 lead over No. 6 South Carolina, and Iowa State, who's up early 7-0 over No. 5 Oklahoma.

But first, let's share DoctaJ716's house rules for the Pam Ward Drinking Game:

Rules: 1.) Mispronounciation of player's name = 1 drink 2.) blatently obvious analysis = 1 drink 2a.) Ray Bentley echoes her analysis in typical 4th grade fashion = triple drink score 3.) Incorrect naming of a play = 2 drinks 4.) Gives incorrect score = 3 drinks 5.) declares the wrong team w/possession, lead, penalty, score = 4 shots + mandatory drunk dialing of your ex 6.) face time on television = drink till she's cute or off the screen (whichever comes last)

I'm already shitfaced and she's starting to look like Halle Berry.

And now onto shorter, but not necessarily worse, contributions As The Nedyssey Continues...

My favorite sign on Gameday: "This is for basketball, right?" A part of me wonders if that's a sincere question. — The Hog Blogger

Remind me again why Notre Dame is having pep rallies? — colbypkp678

On a hot day Tebow's thirst was growing high, he put his knees to the dirt and drank the St. John's River dry. Later that day he felt like going for a swim, he put his fist to the sky, it filled the river up again. — tylerisgod316

ESPN gives us Penn State-Indiana and Iowa-Purdue early? Wasn't the Big 10 Network invented to relegate games like these to their proper place where no one can be subjected to them? — Signal to Noise

If our Army can't beat Georgia Tech, what chance do we have against Iraq? — jonesy5001

The "featured comment" on espn.com right now? "Ohio State vs. Michigan State: Too much OSU defense here." ...i almost put my fist through my monitor. i wonder if i can adblock it? — namssor224

Oh great. I put money on Bama today, and find out 5 players are suspended about 3 minutes before game time. Need a betting tip today? Do the opposite of whatever I do.— I Heart Poop