How to Do Everything

Want to learn how to do things? We’re here to help.

Doing things is hard. The key is to do them adequately. Below, we’ve compiled a list of how-to posts published on Adequate Man, and provided our own succinct answers for the existential questions posed.

You’re welcome.

Don’t drink at the party.

Look at them. Say hi.

Be nice—because.

Avoid doing this if you can.

Google “ethical porn.”

However much you can afford.

Yes and no...

You don’t need to.

Always.

Get a cat. Don’t bother it.

Bring your things.

However often you want.

Go to a store and buy some.

Doesn’t matter, you’re gross.

Try breathing.

Kill them.

Murder them.

Bring enough items for the length of the trip.

Clean it?

Be charming.

Leave and don’t come back.

Eat them before they go bad.

Chill out.

Go to the party. Be professional.

Go to an antique store. Because they’re great.

Stay home.

Train it.

Scream.

Sleep.

Don’t live with people.

Not something you should do.

Be nice instead.

Talk to her.

Be gracious, fun.

Don’t approach them.

Let someone else do it. Because it’s dirty.

We’re all gonna die.