How Will 8 Gold Medals Help Michael Phelps' Prodigious Coozing?

Throughout the Olympics, there have been many variations on the email like the one below regarding America's trophy-headed swim king, Michael Phelps: "went to michigan the same time as michael phelps and stories of his douchiness towards girls seem to pop up with any mention of his name. apparently his freshman year, he was at one of the campus bars and when asked what he was majoring in, he flat out said, 'i'm here to major in pussy...." Now this story could have very well started as a University of Michigan Onion-style student newspaper piece, or it may very well have also come from some legitimate bed-hopping behavior. Who knows. But if you observe the many, many, many photos of co-eds draped across Michael Phelps during various points of his post-Athens run, you'd have to think those 8 gold medals will even bring more opportunities for possible "girl douchiness" this time around. The stories should be start pouring in once he heads off to " vacation with some friends" after he's done floating around Beijing and London. You know what they say about a man with an abnormally large arm span. Thanks for your patience today. Not feeling fit as a fucking fiddle. Tomorrow, hopefully, this will all be better. Goodnight, good luck, and thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Michael Phelps Beijing Olympic Training Regimen [Busted Coverage]