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Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Hugh 2: The Wrath of Hugh

Illustration for article titled Hugh 2: The Wrath of Hugh

You're getting a little nastier out there, especially when it comes to having your sexual predilections called out in previous Hughs. (Confidential to Towering for Tebow: We're agnostic on pooper action; thanks for asking.) We approve of this turn for the mean. We also wonder if the left tackle for Texas Tech might be named Routan Boom. If not, we petition him to change his name. That's got to be more awesome than whatever he's packin' at the moment. spacecowgirl01: Big 12 Shoot-out update: First, an official's foot gets stomped on and he limps off the field. Now, Eric Morris of Texas Tech barely scores a touchdown and proceeds to apparently dry hump a sideline cameraman. No, seriously. He was on top of him and didn't get off, and it was really, really, really awkward. (Unfortunately, NCAA guidelines prevent Morris from calling the cameraman in the morning. However, he can text the snot out of him. "WIDE ANGL LENS NXT TM LOL") Signal to Noise: whenever there's a shot of Mark Mangino that's obscured by something (in this case, a ref), it looks like he's sneaking up on someone Jaws-style. (Not since Beverly Hills Ninja have we had such a notion in our heads.) I Heart Poop: Kentucky just put Randall Cobb in at qb in the 1st quarter. Florida is in trouble if they're standing between him and Nathan Arizona Jr. Otherwise, not so much. ("And this here's the TV. Two hours a day, either educational or football, so you don't ruin your appreciation of the finer things.") greenmightymoose: Andre Ware rhymes with underwear. Hasn't been said in a while, but his stammering through a critique of Harrell of Texas Tech reminded me of that. (Consider this our public service.) fraganhome: The last time there was a massacre this bad in Lawrence, Kansas, it was 1863, and about 200 men and boys were killed. (We're considering this our Yostal fanservice.) jhar008: when they show mark mangino on the sidelines i assume that he is gonna chew some asses out after the game...the asses of the turkey, the pig and any other animal in the postgame buffet. (We just want to explain this one: Mark Mangino is a bit overweight.) Splenda: even when he is winning, Indiana coach Bill Lynch has a look on his face like he is watching someone screw his wife and there isn't a thing he can do about it. (Is it anything like the Joe Maddon look?) DexterFishmore: It's not even 2:30 on the East coast, and already three Big XII games (Texas Tech-KU, Baylor-Nebraska and OU-K State) have combined to log 169 points. None of these games is in the 4th quarter, and two haven't reached halftime. Pac-10 defensive coordinators are sincerely flattered by their Midwestern imitators. (Now that's smack worth talking.) Zombie Jesus X: According to ESPN, Michael Crabtree apparently has a "knack for feeling the football". Meanwhile, a tragically confused Carl Monday begins his stakeout of the Texas Tech student library. (No worries; it's like low-hanging fruit in there.) spacecowgirl01: BREAKING NEWS in the Minnesota-Purdue game, the only actual close, decent-to-watch game on at the moment: The Purdue Band is having a 12-person mosh pit! ZOMG! ESPN Classic is indeed excellent television. ... update: our commentater (I dont remember who it is) just incorrectly compared the scramble over a fumbled ball on the field to the "cheerleader mosh pit" on the Purdue sideline. Wishful thinking on his part? (We confirm both facts and this third one: it's possible to swim in a cheerleader mosh pit if you stay calm and use slow, deliberate movements. Or that could be quicksand.) Dos mas, boys and girls. You're bringin' it today; we're proud to be the redhead in your secretarial pool. See you in 90.


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